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Maybe You Get Bad Customer Service Because You're a Bad Customer

tr1age

Administrator
Staff member
I could have taken a picture of you and posted it here to publicly shame you, but I didn't. That's because I am not trying to be vindictive, ma'am. I'd merely like to answer that question you posed. This can be what the politicians call a "teachable moment" for you and everyone like you.

See, I was in line at that particular fast food establishment yesterday. You probably didn't notice me -- I assume you didn't notice any of us from the way you blatantly barged to the front. I was about to tap you on the shoulder and politely explain how lines are supposed to work in a civilized society, but I could tell you were in the throes of an ungodly rage. I figured this must be an emergency. My God, you were practically foaming at the mouth. I thought maybe someone at the counter had killed your dog, or framed you for a murder you didn't commit, or urinated in your oatmeal this morning. Obviously something serious was going on.

Then you suddenly screamed, "NO ketchup! I said NO ketchup!"

Okay, so maybe this wasn't a dire situation. It was a condiment situation. Not exactly life or death, but close enough, I guess. The girl at the cash register looked confused. I don't blame her, some irate middle aged woman just barreled in the door yelling about ketchup. She asked you for some clarification, which was reasonable, but apparently you didn't think so.

"What's wrong with you people?! I just sat in the drive thru for ten minutes and now I have to come in here because you guys can't understand f*cking English! I ordered this burger with NO ketchup but of course I get it with gobs of ketchup. Unbelievable. This happens every f*cking time!"

Wait, it's unbelievable yet it happens every time? Hmmm. And your ketchup specifications are this important to you yet you continually come to the one place in town that apparently has a ketchup obsession? There are literally six other fast food joints within a two mile radius, but here you are at the one place that screws up your order "every f*cking time." Interesting. Logical thinking isn't exactly your forte, is it?

The poor girl at the counter, who likely had no hand in this ketchup fiasco, offered to give you a new burger, plain and dry, just as you prefer. But that wasn't good enough, was it? Their failure to obey your demands must be punished.

"No, I don't want a new burger. Give me your name and the number to corporate. I'm sick of this sh*t. Give me my money back and the number to your corporate office! Why can't I ever f*cking get good customer service?!"

And the exchange went on from there. You of course handled yourself like a woman of culture and dignity, while the fast food employee and her manager tried everything to find a remedy for the Tragic Ketchup Calamity. It ended with you promising to get them all fired as you stormed out. Then I finally had my turn at the counter. I ordered a burger. With extra ketchup.

Now, I replay this back to you because I realize you probably scream profanities at minimum wage customer service representatives every time you run an errand or grab a bite to eat, so you might not recall the specifics of this one incident. And that brings us to the possible answer to that query you posed in the midst of your ketchup rant. You asked: "Why can't I ever f*cking get good customer service?" Well, ma'am, that might have something to do with you being a vulgar, miserable, malicious person. Maybe you get bad customer service because you're a bad customer. Did you ever consider that possibility?

I get it. "You're the customer so you're always right." They work here so they have to bend over backwards for you "because that's their job." Well, you're partially correct about that. Yes, you are a customer and, yes, they do work here. But it's actually not their job to deal with psychopaths. They aren't hostage negotiators, they're fast food workers. And even if the powers that be at these corporate chains push this "customer is always right" crap because they've decided it's good business to placate horrible jerks, in the real world, outside the land of plastic chairs and soda fountains, adults who throw temper tantrums in public are never right about anything.

I'm sure some people might take your side. They might come to your defense by telling their own horror stories about all the times when customer service has failed to live up to their standards. Those folks are under the same delusion as you. They think their hallowed "customer" status somehow gives them the right to treat everyone with a uniform and a name tag like garbage. They think their past encounters with sub-par service makes it acceptable for them to fly off the handle about ketchup every once in a while. They think the rules of basic decency and respect come second when they are The Customer. And they're wrong.

Do you ever wonder why we have so many atrocious politicians in Washington? Well, you shouldn't wonder. Just look in the mirror. Bad politicians are generally bad because they can't handle power. It goes right to their head and they become narcissistic, petty, controlling sociopaths. But at least it's a lot of power so the temptation to be corrupted by it is almost understandable. You, on the other hand, become a maniacal tyrant when society hands you temporary and meaningless power over 17-year-old fast food cashiers. I shudder to think what you'd do if you had an army at your disposal.

We all get a little unwanted ketchup every now and again, and we are all expected to handle it like mature and decent adults. Some of us manage to make it through our whole lives without ever feeling the need to berate restaurant or retail employees over some small and fixable mistake. Other folks, such as yourself, seem to get into a customer service Battle Royale every time they step outside their house. Maybe it's because the universe is against you guys. Or maybe -- just maybe -- it's because you behave like selfish obnoxious bullies.

Just something to think about.

Oh, and I'm betting you actually forgot to say "no ketchup" when you placed your original order. Wouldn't that be a totally expected twist to this captivating saga?

This post originally appeared on Matt's blog: themattwalshblog.com
 
I would have probably been the guy in the corner silently cheering her on but laughing at the same time for her making a complete fool of herself publicly but at the same time wishing I'd have had the balls to say something one of the thousands of times people get my order wrong. Although I will admit I'd probably handle it just a tad bit differently. I usually just avoid confrontation and would just not say anything and also fear them spitting in my food, but then I wouldn't go back to the same place over and over if they sucked that bad at getting an order right. Maybe she was just having a really really shitty day and finally reached a boiling point. Never know someone's situation and just how bad it may really be for them. Damn those ketchup Nazis for constructing this entire conspiracy to have this woman publicly humiliate herself!

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Watch this movie and you'll never ever complain in a restaurant again! And well, you may get a good laugh or two! =)
 
As some of you might already know from the chat, my parents have a restaurant. Because of that my mother compares herself a lot with restaurants around and one basic rule is: The more you pay, the more "special" wishes will be ok to ask for. So if you eat at a cheap fast-food restaurant, it is not very likely that your special wishes will be fulfilled. If you eat at a very expensive restaurant, they will be far more open to this.
My parents checked a sunday 3 weeks ago and every 3rd meal was "special". So somebody ordered a Schnitzel, but he wanted Spätzle instead of fries. Or please do not add this. Or can you give me addtional that.
This is A. very annoying and B. a time sink, because you have to check every single order multiple times to find out whether it is done right or wrong.
And the amount of "special" wishes has greatly increased within the 5 last years. Mainly because people become super afraid of something because they read it is bad (Gluten or Lactose are the 2 most common ones).

Funniest part was one person who said he is allergic to Gluten. So he asked if our Schnitzel is Gluten-free and we said no. The coating of a Schnitzel is made out of white bread. Next thing he asked about was Maultaschen, again we said no, because they have a dough coating which contains Gluten. And then he said he wants to order a Pizza.
This time we said ok. If you are allergic to Gluten and you do not know that pizza dough contains Gluten, you are just pretending.

Anyways. I hate it when people mess up my special wishes, but I rarely have some.
 
It doesn't matter how bad your day has been, I don't think that should be an excuse to treat others with little or no respect. I might have a hard day, but when I'm dealing with others (be it in a fast food, supermarket, where ever) I try my best to keep a smile on my face. You never know when someone might actually brighten your day just cause you're being nice to others.

Plus they might have had a crummy day too, you being nice might brighten theirs.
 
My method of dealing with this back when I worked retail in college was to flip a switch and become maniacally happy. The more the customer would lose their shit and attempt to berate me, the more maniacally happy I would become. This would usually lead to them becoming more internally frustrated, not knowing how to deal with my matching of their anger with happiness, and give up. Pretty effective. Doesn't violate the corporate BS.
 
I work in customer service, so I can attest that the customer is not always right. In fact, they are almost always wrong to some degree, that's why they need service. It can be challenging to take the high road with individuals like the mean ketchup lady, but that's where true customer service really shines. It's easy to give good service to good customers, but much more challenging to help the jerks and idiots.

I would classify the example above as a jerk. Jerks are best handled by management because they usually aren't looking for a reasonable solution to their problem; they are out for blood and want to make someone suffer. Managers need to quickly step in to jerk situations, make the customer feel like they've been heard, and get them out the door as quickly as possible. This is a completely different style of service than what is needed with reasonable people who are able to accept that mistakes are made and reasonable attempts will be made to make it right.

The reason you don't yell back to the jerk customer is that there are good customers like Tristan that are standing right behind them. You don't treat the jerk with respect for their benefit; it's for the benefit of all the other customers that see how you deal with difficult people. If a manager can keep their cool and deal properly with a jerk, how much more then can average customers rely on good service? When customer service reps and managers lost their temper, the jerks win.

It sounds like the staff at that particular restaurant was able to deal with their jerk in a good way. Chances are they've had lots of practice.
 
I worked fast food for about five years through high school and the first couple years of college. This exact story has happened as well as countless others. One that comes to mind was when I arrived to work at 7AM and immediately had to deal with one of these people. I clocked in and walked over to the second window to start working. The manager told me the coffee was old but didn't care if I brewed new coffee or not. I could have been lazy but I decided to make the right choice and dumped it to brew a new batch. The first guy that got in line ordered a large coffee so when he pulled up I had to tell him it would be around thirty seconds for the coffee. He began to tell me that I'm a f*cking moron and how he was going to be late to work because of me. There were so many things I wanted to say but I had to remain silent if I wanted to keep my job.

When you're young you tend to think adults are much smarter and incapable of making such stupid decisions or having a childish fit. I know I did growing up in my suburban bubble. After a few years I started to realize most adults aren't any smarter or capable of logical thought than the people I was going to school with. The entire experience was very eye opening for me and is probably the main reason I'll never put much faith in government. After all they are only human and if I learned anything from my experience it's that book smart doesn't equal intelligence and experience doesn't guarantee wisdom.
 
I worked in the restaurant industry for years.. and I NEVER had an issue doing something special for someone or substituting things.. as long as the person was nice. You are paying for the food, and imo, you should get it how you want it, but as Wil says, 'don't be a dick'.
 
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