Don't get me wrong I laughed. But here is the thing... I remember when I was a kid. I remember being called gay, faggot, and other names which just made me feel amazing inside.
I remember having a book I wrote down all the reasons why I wasn't gay in. I remember writing it down in red pen over and over because it hurt my head to keep it all inside. Now was I being called "gay" or just the choice secondary descriptor of the word "loser". Well at times it was either or, but if you are called it enough you start to question your own self.
You start to wonder who you really are...
It wasn't until I was in college, believe it or not, where I finally understood for MYSELF that I was not gay. It always lingered in my head even after putting all my thoughts down in that journal and nailing it shut, literally.
"One day, one day I am just going to become gay."
Sound ridiculous to anyone who IS gay. Because as I found out being a theatre major and finally having the balls to ask one of them "Dude, how do you know if you are gay" and his answer was the clearest thing I ever saw, "You are attracted to men." Mind you he said it more along the lines of "You like dick", lol, hey I was in college!
It clicked at that moment. At that moment I finally knew I would not "come out of the closet one day, as even college kids threw at me (yeah straight guy as a theatre major is a fun one haha). I was released from all the un-intentional stigmas forced upon me as a child. A high energy child, semi awkward, family not getting him the popular brands, wearing hand me downs from his sister, pink socks from the 90's, the perfect storm to be a dork... or as it was expressed "gay". As you all know I am not against being gay but me personally I love women, I love everything about them and to me love is very important and I wanted to know if I was aiming my love properly. Were my relationships failing because I was actually gay? It compacted and compounded in my mind for years from the shit I got as a kid. And this small moment, this tiny sentence, this tiny breath of air carrying words freed my brain from a very shitty treatment as a kid. It would make me so angry, so upset inside. And no matter what I did it wouldn't stop. I would make it worse. I learned later that when I didn't give a fuck anymore about them and literally went outside my school to make real friends, that everyone in school then pictured me as the "badass" and "cool kid". The blond hair blue eye'd kid, labeled innocent, prude, gay, was now the badass.. WTF. I had no idea. I just knew I was doing my own thing and nothing they could say would change that I had a solid foundation away from them.
(my sister took this picture as she tried her best to make me a sister too lol, I can braid a mean pony tail.. just sayin..)
Now do I think that bullying pushes people to kill people... I have my own thoughts on this and why I think those people probably would kill someone anyway, bullied or not. But why does anyone have to endure this? The media and officials say they take a STRONG stance against it. They want to crack down on it. But then that same media outlet will report on celebrities, their lives, what they "perceive" to be, not facts. It is socially acceptable bullying. Now how the fuck does that make any sense.
Justin Bieber is a prime example. This poor kid. He may be girly(mostly because he is good looking, young, and sings high; all things that should be complimented) and have a strange cult following, but he is still a young kid. And the WORLD is shaping him with their remarks. The WORLD is calling him gay. The WORLD is putting things into his head that need not be there. The WORLD is bullying this poor kid.
But no one seems to realize this.
I literally had this thought come to me today as I saw this picture. I suppose this is my long winded way of saying, HEY, WORLD, back the fuck off. Just because you are jealous of someone being successful other than you, being better looking than you, having more talent than you, being in the right place at the right time when you were not, does NOT give you an excuse to bully them. I don't care if they are a celebrity or not. A kid in school, a smart kid, a less smart kid, an athletic kid, a different kid...they are people. I have never put celebrities on pedestals because I always see them as people. I appreciate what they do, but I don't see them as superheroes or get all crazy if I see them, because I am much more impressed when I meet brain surgeons or people who help to improve our world. Sure entertainment gives us release, but that is a group effort and I applaud EVERYONE involved. I don't get how we base our actions off these people, what we wear, what we listen to, what we watch, but then yell at them for every thing they do, we judge them.. to ourselves and to major media outlets as what has become apparent to me, bullying.
I am not sure when the expression, "Treat others the way you would like to be treated" got lost on us, but it has. Yes some people don't do it, but even myself, saw the picture and laughed. Then my brain took over and went.. *light on* holy crap.. this is fucked up.
So to those who think it is OK, I am saying right now, I disagree. Do I have an answer on how to fix it, no. But I myself will make sure to be as aware as possible for myself so I do not do it to others.
P.S. My little sister found that book I nailed shut and after I ripped out the pages and nailed it shut, she pulled the nail out and used it for her childhood. It gave her a connection to me and I thought it was really amazing. Was a little bit of light out of that shit.