Ahahah Follow the Pope for time off Pergatory

[tr1age]

Vatican's New Twitter Strat: Follow the Pope for “Time Off Purgatory”

In a #blessed attempt to up his Twitter game, Pope Francis is now granting "time off purgatory" to anyone who follows @Pontifex during Catholic World Youth Day, a week-long event held in Rio de Janeiro.
Granting "indulgences" or remissions on the amount of time sinners have to spend in purgatory is a longstanding Catholic practice, but typically it involves carrying out tasks like climbing the Sacred Steps in Rome, which buys you a seven year discount. This year, however, the Vatican is extending that get-out-of-(some)-purgatory card to attendees of Catholic World Youth Day or anyone following from their smartphone.

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Mindful of the faithful who cannot afford to fly to Brazil, the Vatican's sacred apostolic penitentiary, a court which handles the forgiveness of sins, has also extended the privilege to those following the "rites and pious exercises" of the event on television, radio and through social media.

"That includes following Twitter," said a source at the penitentiary, referring to Pope Francis' Twitter account, which has gathered seven million followers. "But you must be following the events live. It is not as if you can get an indulgence by chatting on the internet."​

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The Vatican's social media strategy also extends beyond Twitter:

Apart from the papal Twitter account, the Vatican has launched an online news portal supported by an app, a Facebook page, and it plans to use the online social networking site Pinterest.

Before you pin away your perversions and download your way to the kingdom of heaven, keep in mind only the truly penitent need apply, according to statements made by Archbishop Claudio Maria Celli, "head of the pontifical council for social communication," to the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera.

"What really counts is that the tweets the Pope sends from Brazil or the photos of the Catholic World Youth Day that go up on Pinterest produce authentic spiritual fruit in the hearts of everyone," said Celli.

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Next status prediction: "Enter for your chance to be an official saint for a day! Simply follow us on Facebook and Instagram and the most heatheny heathen can have their chance at sainthood! ‪#‎saintforaday‬‪#‎yolo‬"​

 

[Zakis]

Catholicism is hilarious....actually religion is hilarious. When is the next crusade? I want a sword.

 

[tr1age]

Catholicism is hilarious....actually religion is hilarious. When is the next crusade? I want a sword.

Then you can trade it during a steam sale!

 

[Zakis]

Then you can trade it during a steam sale!

Perfect!

 

[Gharldo]

We Space Popes wouldn't stoop so low as to start a twitter campaign. We use Chat Roulette instead.

 

[Vesi]

Wow lol. I'm not very religious..at all, maybe this is why.

 

[Rajax]

Um wtf?

/rant *thinks better of it* /endrant

 

[Crake]

...

Sent from Droid Razr Maxx HD via Tapatalk

 

[Ailo]

Wait so social media is allowing me to skip purgatory?!

 

[Fen]

I have like 5 twitter accounts, I'm golden!

 

[Ailo]

Maybe you can use a purgatory voucher for Whizz!

 

[Diremongoose]

Anyone else reminded of this?

 

[Red Omen]

Boy, it sure is a good thing I decided to join when I was six months old.

 

[Keleynal]

/facepalm

Thank God for the Protestant Reformation that at least provided an alternative to buying your way out of afterlife punishment. There is zero Biblical basis for the existence of Purgatory, and ditto for earning forgiveness by giving money or twitter followers to any person or church. The Catholic Church is really slow to correct errors. I think it was only in the last decade that they admitted they made a mistake about Galileo.

 

[Red Omen]

1992.

 

[Keleynal]

1992.

2 decades? damn I'm old

 

[TIG]

That was the year I graduated high school. I got an invite to the 20 year reunion, but meh, didn't go. I graduated with 850 other people and didn't care about really any of them. All my friends went to another school.