Anti Bullying... The media loves its... but does it stand behind it?

[tr1age]

So I was sifting through the junk that is Facebook these days (no updates just tumblr photos being re-pinned, another rant) and I ran across this:

Spoiler

Don't get me wrong I laughed. But here is the thing... I remember when I was a kid. I remember being called gay, faggot, and other names which just made me feel amazing inside.

I remember having a book I wrote down all the reasons why I wasn't gay in. I remember writing it down in red pen over and over because it hurt my head to keep it all inside. Now was I being called "gay" or just the choice secondary descriptor of the word "loser". Well at times it was either or, but if you are called it enough you start to question your own self.

You start to wonder who you really are...

It wasn't until I was in college, believe it or not, where I finally understood for MYSELF that I was not gay. It always lingered in my head even after putting all my thoughts down in that journal and nailing it shut, literally.

"One day, one day I am just going to become gay."

Sound ridiculous to anyone who IS gay. Because as I found out being a theatre major and finally having the balls to ask one of them "Dude, how do you know if you are gay" and his answer was the clearest thing I ever saw, "You are attracted to men." Mind you he said it more along the lines of "You like dick", lol, hey I was in college!

It clicked at that moment. At that moment I finally knew I would not "come out of the closet one day, as even college kids threw at me (yeah straight guy as a theatre major is a fun one haha). I was released from all the un-intentional stigmas forced upon me as a child. A high energy child, semi awkward, family not getting him the popular brands, wearing hand me downs from his sister, pink socks from the 90's, the perfect storm to be a dork... or as it was expressed "gay". As you all know I am not against being gay but me personally I love women, I love everything about them and to me love is very important and I wanted to know if I was aiming my love properly. Were my relationships failing because I was actually gay? It compacted and compounded in my mind for years from the shit I got as a kid. And this small moment, this tiny sentence, this tiny breath of air carrying words freed my brain from a very shitty treatment as a kid. It would make me so angry, so upset inside. And no matter what I did it wouldn't stop. I would make it worse. I learned later that when I didn't give a fuck anymore about them and literally went outside my school to make real friends, that everyone in school then pictured me as the "badass" and "cool kid". The blond hair blue eye'd kid, labeled innocent, prude, gay, was now the badass.. WTF. I had no idea. I just knew I was doing my own thing and nothing they could say would change that I had a solid foundation away from them.

(my sister took this picture as she tried her best to make me a sister too lol, I can braid a mean pony tail.. just sayin..)

Now do I think that bullying pushes people to kill people... I have my own thoughts on this and why I think those people probably would kill someone anyway, bullied or not. But why does anyone have to endure this? The media and officials say they take a STRONG stance against it. They want to crack down on it. But then that same media outlet will report on celebrities, their lives, what they "perceive" to be, not facts. It is socially acceptable bullying. Now how the fuck does that make any sense.


Justin Bieber is a prime example. This poor kid. He may be girly(mostly because he is good looking, young, and sings high; all things that should be complimented) and have a strange cult following, but he is still a young kid. And the WORLD is shaping him with their remarks. The WORLD is calling him gay. The WORLD is putting things into his head that need not be there. The WORLD is bullying this poor kid.

But no one seems to realize this.

I literally had this thought come to me today as I saw this picture. I suppose this is my long winded way of saying, HEY, WORLD, back the fuck off. Just because you are jealous of someone being successful other than you, being better looking than you, having more talent than you, being in the right place at the right time when you were not, does NOT give you an excuse to bully them. I don't care if they are a celebrity or not. A kid in school, a smart kid, a less smart kid, an athletic kid, a different kid...they are people. I have never put celebrities on pedestals because I always see them as people. I appreciate what they do, but I don't see them as superheroes or get all crazy if I see them, because I am much more impressed when I meet brain surgeons or people who help to improve our world. Sure entertainment gives us release, but that is a group effort and I applaud EVERYONE involved. I don't get how we base our actions off these people, what we wear, what we listen to, what we watch, but then yell at them for every thing they do, we judge them.. to ourselves and to major media outlets as what has become apparent to me, bullying.

I am not sure when the expression, "Treat others the way you would like to be treated" got lost on us, but it has. Yes some people don't do it, but even myself, saw the picture and laughed. Then my brain took over and went.. *light on* holy crap.. this is fucked up.

So to those who think it is OK, I am saying right now, I disagree. Do I have an answer on how to fix it, no. But I myself will make sure to be as aware as possible for myself so I do not do it to others.

P.S. My little sister found that book I nailed shut and after I ripped out the pages and nailed it shut, she pulled the nail out and used it for her childhood. It gave her a connection to me and I thought it was really amazing. Was a little bit of light out of that shit.

 

[Keleynal]

When you become a public figure, whether a politician or a celebrity or a successful (or failed) businessperson, you lose certain protections on your private life. You are basically fair game for pretty much anything anyone wants to say about you, fodder for the tabloids. That is the price of fame in America. You want to be a household name? That's great, but you'll have no control over what is said in those households.

Celebrities such as Bieber are not innocent victims in all this. Any public figure can be targeted by tabloids, so why do they stick to the entertainment industry instead of politicians (except when there's a sex scandal)? It's because the actors and singers are always doing stupid stuff, getting married, getting divorced, and having wild parties. And if you don't think that they know full well that they are attracting the attention of tabloids, you're crazy. Entertainment is a multimillion dollar business and a star's reputation management is also a multimillion dollar business. If they wanted to stay off the tabloid pages, they could, and many stars do.

I think it's a waste of time to worry about Beiber's feelings. He'll either crash and burn like many kids who became famous too fast, too soon, or he won't. I don't want to see him crash and burn, but if he does, it won't be because of internet memes or ridiculous rumors about hi sexual orientation. It will be because he was a immature kid that couldn't handle the pressure of fame. I don't blame him for that, I'd blame hi parents for not keeping him on an even keel.

Anyway, there's more than enough social bullying of "regular folks" to keep us active against the practice. That's who I worry about, the kid who get teased and can't drown his sorrows in a swimming pool filled with 100 dollar bills.

 

[Kaspyn]

I agree with both the points listed, but....

I think the media is wonderful tool in which to teach our kids it's okay to say and do certain things. "So and so is doing it, so it must be alright". So are the shows we watch, the movies we see, the books we read. All of these things influence us, especially as children.

Half the reason I was so damn depressed throughout my early school years was due to bullying. It wasn't until High School, after 6 years of near daily torment of being called every name in the book that I finally snapped. I snapped and nearly choked a girl unconscious because I was so angry inside, from having to deal with everyone's shit and no one doing anything about it year after year, day after day, in the halls of the school and on the school bus ride every morning and afternoon. Life literally sucked so much, I snapped.

I was raised in a house where money was usually tight, no siblings living with me (my sister lived with my dad) and a step dad who was sort of a giant asshole when I was growing up. Throw in some hard to handle sexuality shit, too, along with all the bullying, and you have a moltov just waiting to be thrown into the right fight.

After I choked that girl, I was suspended for 3 days and in a lot of trouble at home. I went back to school 3 days later and guess what? No one ever bullied me again.

It's sad that I dealt with that shit for years, and when I snapped and hurt someone, that's what ended it.

Yes, the kids that are famous do get shit, so do the adults. They do stupid things. But you know what? I do some pretty fucking stupid things, too, and I just don't have the fame for the entire world to know about it. We are all human. Do these stars know what they are getting into? I think they do. I think they count on it sometimes, even. But that doesn't give us the right to treat these people like shit, whether they are right or wrong, great musicians or shitty ones. They are still people and we are still teaching our children that it's okay to say and do these things to other people. It's not okay. It's never been okay. And just like everything else in this country, it only takes a problem getting so bad that people get hurt in droves for the government or media or anyone to finally do something about it.

Bullying stops in the schools and it takes the parents teaching their kids that every single kid is a person, too, and just like they wouldn't like to be called "gay" and "fag" and "retard", neither does anyone else.

 

[tr1age]

When you become a public figure, whether a politician or a celebrity or a successful (or failed) businessperson, you lose certain protections on your private life. You are basically fair game for pretty much anything anyone wants to say about you, fodder for the tabloids. That is the price of fame in America. You want to be a household name? That's great, but you'll have no control over what is said in those households.

Celebrities such as Bieber are not innocent victims in all this. Any public figure can be targeted by tabloids, so why do they stick to the entertainment industry instead of politicians (except when there's a sex scandal)? It's because the actors and singers are always doing stupid stuff, getting married, getting divorced, and having wild parties. And if you don't think that they know full well that they are attracting the attention of tabloids, you're crazy. Entertainment is a multimillion dollar business and a star's reputation management is also a multimillion dollar business. If they wanted to stay off the tabloid pages, they could, and many stars do.

I think it's a waste of time to worry about Beiber's feelings. He'll either crash and burn like many kids who became famous too fast, too soon, or he won't. I don't want to see him crash and burn, but if he does, it won't be because of internet memes or ridiculous rumors about hi sexual orientation. It will be because he was a immature kid that couldn't handle the pressure of fame. I don't blame him for that, I'd blame hi parents for not keeping him on an even keel.

Anyway, there's more than enough social bullying of "regular folks" to keep us active against the practice. That's who I worry about, the kid who get teased and can't drown his sorrows in a swimming pool filled with 100 dollar bills.

I disagree with so many if not all of the things you said here.

If anything you prove my point. We are against Bullying but because society deem "fame" as "tabloids" and reporting on their "lavish lives" even though people are dying in other countries, people are saving people in our country, new science is being discovered. We socially focus on Justin Beibers life... but hey that is OK because he is Famous and has a hypothetical ducktales vault of money to swim in?

Are you serious?

I did NOT expect that from you. You think before you speak. But in this situation you literally just said, a person who is famous is not subject to the same emotions a normal person feels. They are not subject to the same effects bullying can have. You are saying the global bullying and memes and tweets, and tabloids are NOT actually bullying but reporting or "good old fun".

Who is talking about crashing and burning from fame. I am talking about mental bullshit. Regardless of me knowing I was not gay and on a much smaller level. I heard it enough to question it. That is the point here. He may be able to brush off the bullshit thrown at him, but on a subconscious level it still hurts.

So why is that OK?

What makes him different than your child? Because he got lucky and made more money? Money will heal his wounds?

"regular folks" .... I don't even know what to say to this.

 

[Keleynal]

Yes, I can see why you disagreed with what I said. I think I may be able to clear up some misunderstanding.

The distinction I was drawing between Bieber and you, between public figures and "regular folks" was more from a legal and social perspective standpoint than moral or ethical. The point that I was trying to make was that if I were to spread all kinds of lies or hurtful talk about you everywhere, you could sue me for libel/slander and I would have to pay you compensation. Justin Bieber and other public figures essentially give up that protection when they become famous, making them easy prey for tabloids. I'm not saying it's right or that they deserve it or that tabloid reporters aren't horrible people. That's just the price of fame in America. For those like Bieber who were seemingly thrust into fame overnight, I'm sure the transition is alarming and sometimes hurtful. However, I don't have much sympathy for him because he has the means to manage his reputation or hire people to manage his reputation for him.

For "regular folks," that is, people who are not household names, who don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank or an industry built around them, there isn't as much support available. So my sympathy and support is with them rather than famous people who should expect it and handle their own shit.

You're point about people wasting time reading and writing tabloids is also well taken. But if people can make money from smut, you can be sure that they will wade in.

 

[tr1age]

Yes, I can see why you disagreed with what I said. I think I may be able to clear up some misunderstanding.

The distinction I was drawing between Bieber and you, between public figures and "regular folks" was more from a legal and social perspective standpoint than moral or ethical. The point that I was trying to make was that if I were to spread all kinds of lies or hurtful talk about you everywhere, you could sue me for libel/slander and I would have to pay you compensation. Justin Bieber and other public figures essentially give up that protection when they become famous, making them easy prey for tabloids. I'm not saying it's right or that they deserve it or that tabloid reporters aren't horrible people. That's just the price of fame in America. For those like Bieber who were seemingly thrust into fame overnight, I'm sure the transition is alarming and sometimes hurtful. However, I don't have much sympathy for him because he has the means to manage his reputation or hire people to manage his reputation for him.

For "regular folks," that is, people who are not household names, who don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank or an industry built around them, there isn't as much support available. So my sympathy and support is with them rather than famous people who should expect it and handle their own shit.

You're point about people wasting time reading and writing tabloids is also well taken. But if people can make money from smut, you can be sure that they will wade in.

I see your point a bit more now. I think I felt like my main point was missed that, the crux of the issue is deeper if our society really thinks bullying is just to those who are not household names and examples are made with people who are "famous". And then that same action is taken out on the rest of people.

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!