Do you love yourself?

[tr1age]

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It’s not even a question to me why this happens: Pride is looked down upon, either as a cardinal sin or an inflated ego, as cockiness or arrogance or whatever else; and we’re all meant to be discouraging towards every aspect of ourselves as a result when really that’s the place happiness ought to start.​

 

[Euchale]

Add to this an unreachable expectation of how you should look and be. Then you have the reason why most people don´t love themselfs. For me I like my personality, even though it´s very different from a lot of people. I´m not so happy about my body, but I´m working on it.

 

[Keleynal]

It's a good point. The Bible encourages people to "Love your neighbor as yourself." If people have trouble accepting themselves, that's probably why they treat others badly too.

 

[TIG]

I fully love myself and have no problem admitting it. I have very few people in this world that I actually care about enough to value their opinion. Meaning what those few think of me matters. All others I could care less what they think of me. Because of this attitude I have allowed myself room in my life to embrace my own awesomeness and not care if others would look down on me for it. I think the worry of what others think about you is what keeps people from allowing themselves to embrace and love who they are.

I don't remember when it happened that I stopped caring about what most others think about me, but I remember how it was before I made that choice. I was constantly worried and thinking and second guessing. Now I can dismiss what another thinks or says about me as wrong. Because in my worldview and in my life it is wrong. Very few times in life will someone's opinion of you matter. It won't win or lose you a job, it won't physically harm you, it can only effect how you feel about yourself. I am not saying to ignore others thoughts and words, but weigh them out and don't give them any power if they go against who you are AND they won't effect your physical world.

I feel everyone needs to self assess and if they don't already think they are amazing, then they need to fix that.

 

[Euchale]

I have very few people in this world that I actually care about enough to value their opinion. Meaning what those few think of me matters. All others I could not care less what they think of me. Because of this attitude I have allowed myself room in my life to embrace my own awesomeness and not care if others would look down on me for it. I think the worry of what others think about you is what keeps people from allowing themselves to embrace and love who they are.

I also have the same feeling when I look at my family, I couldn´t care less about what the people from my village think, but for them it is very important. I always say: "Next week they are talking about someone different, don´t worry."

 

[Keleynal]

I fully love myself and have no problem admitting it. I have very few people in this world that I actually care about enough to value their opinion. Meaning what those few think of me matters. All others I could care less what they think of me. Because of this attitude I have allowed myself room in my life to embrace my own awesomeness and not care if others would look down on me for it. I think the worry of what others think about you is what keeps people from allowing themselves to embrace and love who they are.

I don't remember when it happened that I stopped caring about what most others think about me, but I remember how it was before I made that choice. I was constantly worried and thinking and second guessing. Now I can dismiss what another thinks or says about me as wrong. Because in my worldview and in my life it is wrong. Very few times in life will someone's opinion of you matter. It won't win or lose you a job, it won't physically harm you, it can only effect how you feel about yourself. I am not saying to ignore others thoughts and words, but weigh them out and don't give them any power if they go against who you are AND they won't effect your physical world.

I feel everyone needs to self assess and if they don't already think they are amazing, then they need to fix that.

Unfortunately, you can get into situations personally and in your career where someone's opinion of you holds you back. I don't think that means you should change everything about you just to please them, but there are smart things that you can do to make yourself more likable to the people that you need to influence. If you are into that sort of thing.

 

[TIG]

Unfortunately, you can get into situations personally and in your career where someone's opinion of you holds you back. I don't think that means you should change everything about you just to please them, but there are smart things that you can do to make yourself more likable to the people that you need to influence. If you are into that sort of thing.

I do take that into account, and act accordingly but those instances are not the norm in life.

 

[Curtech]

I'm going to answer the question.

"How can I love others without first learning to love myself."
And as Keleynal said, Matthew 22:39. 'Love thy neighbor as thyself'.

I read this just before leaving that tab and clicking to the next one, which was AltTabMe. How fitting that I see a new topic in the sidebar about the same thing I was just reading about.

The horrible truth is, I don't love myself. For being a coward. For being a liar to myself, and to others around me. For teaching myself things that I need to forget and re-learn. For pretending I was something I wasn't while at the same time pretending I wasn't something that I was. I hate myself for knowing that in my case, sometimes someone's opinion of me can win or lose me a job, and it can physically harm me.

I hate myself because I let myself believe for years that the things media told me were true and that who I was was wrong. For letting myself get shaped by my conformist white, middle-upper class, suburban town. I hate myself because even though I know I'm not wrong, I'm still socially unacceptable. More than anything I hate myself for doing nothing.

Because of my upbringing and general intelligence, I have empathy. I judge (that person has bad breath), because we all do, but I never assume I know things about people (he's too much of a penny pincher to buy toothpaste!). I respect others; I don't make fun of people. I never say "you shouldn't do that", but I will say "You should be aware that doing that will result in X."

But I don't know how to love others. A month ago I realized I needed to start figuring out how to love myself. Sometimes I need to be shown love from other people. Just this Friday night I felt mutual love between myself and another. Not romantic love; simply platonic love. But in that moment I felt human - a feeling I realized I hadn't felt in nineteen years. Because that person showed me that I could love myself.

Sometimes it's hard. But I'm trying. Sometimes a forum post is something you forget you made even before the page is done loading it in. But sometimes it actually takes courage to hit "Post Reply."

 

[Keleynal]

I think it's ok to give yourself a little slack. I think if you are able to recognize your shortcomings, you are that much closer to understanding and accepting yourself.

Part of the problem when it comes to love in American culture is the lack of words to express it. We only have the word "love" that is used for everything. I love pizza, my wife, and my fellow Tabbers. "Love" means something different in each case. Greek is much better. There's eros for romantic love, philos for brotherly, and agape for unconditional love.

I believe that the verse in Matthew refers to agape. It makes no demands or conditions, it has no expectations or requirements. Like the love of a mother for a child. This is the love God has towards mankind, and the love that I am to show myself and others. It's a tall order and definitely not easy, but there is a love that transcends understanding. It remains regardless of other's opinions.

I'm glad you've been able to open up and connect with someone else. Love boldly. The rewards far outweigh the risks.

 

[TIG]

Sometimes it's hard. But I'm trying. Sometimes a forum post is something you forget you made even before the page is done loading it in. But sometimes it actually takes courage to hit "Post Reply."

I'm glad you made the post you did. I have seen time and time again how this community will come together and support instead of tear down people who open up here. It's one of the biggest reasons I love it here. Opening up and being accepted and not punished for it is a great way to see that you are worthy from an outside source. You for sure need to believe in your worth and love yourself but sometimes that starts with a group that supports you for you to see what it looks like.

Keep hanging in and know that you are worthy.

 

[Noxious]

Love being a fluctuating thing as opposed to some sort of metaphysical absolute, I think it's a bit of a hard thing to say. Sometimes I love myself. Sometimes I wonder how much dumber I can get; whatever happens, however, I'm aware that I'm always doing what I think to be most appropriate, whether it fails or succeeds.

The same is true for other people. Sometimes I love them, sometimes I dislike them, sometimes I wonder why I'm even around them or they around me. I guess I could say "I love myself" as a general rule of acceptance, as in "I understand that I am and can be no more than what I am at a given time, and I've come to terms with it."