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Evil Dr Inverted Helix

D

dainjre

Generously Compensated Establishment Provocateur
Okay, so... its Monday, give me that please. So I was setting up a printer today at one of our satellite offices, and I did everything right... or so I thought. Here I am, breaking a sweat to set up this printer for these people quickly so that they can keep printing their important paperwork about abandoned children and such. They're receiving a brand new HP laserjet printer that can print color, and I had to make sure to set it up into the network correctly, etc. All a cake walk, no problem.

So after it's all set up and I've pulled all the little orange tape tabs off of the entire surface of this thing, I load some paper into the paper tray and try to print a test page, this is where I run into some problems. Says there is no plain letter paper loaded in tray 2 (the main paper tray) and I'm sitting there like WTF. I open up the tray, adjust the paper, close it shut, nothing. I screw with the little tabs on the side to make sure they're perfectly in place cause that sometimes can screw it up... still nothing. I fuck with the fucking thing for 15 minutes, still says no paper loaded even though at this point I have an entire ream in the paper tray at this point. I call my direct supervisor, talk with him, we go through the steps... I'd done them all already, no problem... then I decide to take out all the paper and adjust it for the 5th or so time... that's when I saw my nemesis... Dr Inverted Helix, sitting there in the back of the paper tray, wasting 20 of my precious minutes when I was wanting to go to lunch... killing my dreams and my hopes and standing for all things not human...

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Little piece of shit. Gods I hate you...

So I decided to take it home and kill it with fire!!

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phone book pages and diesel gasoline will take care of you, Evil Dr Inverted Helix!!

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BURN FUCKER!!!

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(insert coughing cackle here)

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At last... my nemesis has been defeated! I'll see you in hell, Evil Dr Inverted Helix.
 
Well that escalated quickly. -brucethumbsup-

I think I can revive him with a 3D printer... BUT I WON'T!
 
This inspires me to think about what my work nemesis is and take beautiful revenge.

I smell a possible forum campaign?
 
New forum campaign:

Find what you hate most in your office and burn it. We will judge the artistic beauty of the burn in 3 categories.

1:Item selection
2:Burn Beauty
3:End product
 
Baldoraxx said:
New forum campaign:

Find what you hate most in your office and burn it. We will judge the artistic beauty of the burn in 3 categories.

1:Item selection
2:Burn Beauty
3:End product
Click to expand...

Hrm. I was thinking I might have to choose one of my coworkers, but that might not work.
 
I love how dainjre got so frustrated with this but stopped himself from doing something so rash without documenting everything along the way so the community can enjoy. Props for thinking about us during your pyro-induced rage.
 
Simpwn said:
I love how dainjre got so frustrated with this but stopped himself from doing something so rash without documenting everything along the way so the community can enjoy. Props for thinking about us during your pyro-induced rage.
Click to expand...
I figured everyone would know the feeling and would enjoy the ride vicariously. Also it serves as a warning to all those planning to oppose me!
 
I would burn almost anything right now for some HEAT! It is freezing here. I would probably burn all the paper. I could get a fire going for days here
 
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