#gratitude

[Milleuda]

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I recently finished reading Oprah’s book “What I Know for Sure.” One of the chapters in it referenced a gratitude journal, which I had never heard of before. After doing some of my own research on the matter, I learned that it’s basically a journal where you write down 3-5 things you are grateful for every day. The reasoning behind it is simple: if you focus on things you are grateful for, it slowly changes your perspective about the world around you. Oprah goes into more detail about this during one of her Lifeclass sessions:

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After watching this video, I started to keep a Gratitude Journal electronically on Google Docs about 3 weeks ago, and I wanted to take a moment to share my experience with it.​

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1. The first few days are tough. I ended up spending a lot of time thinking about what I was grateful for when I started out. Don't worry, it gets easier.
2. Your awareness will increase. As I went through each day, I started to notice the “small” things that matter. Sometimes it’s as simple as someone smiling at you on the train, and other times it’s your boss giving you a compliment.
3. Positivity will become more natural. I have RBF in my natural state, but as I started to notice things to be grateful for, I started to become more positive in general.
4. Keep it simple. I started out with an iPhone app that was supposed to give me daily alerts and trend my journal entries with analytics, but the app was more buggy than helpful. I eventually scrapped the app and kept a Google Doc online. I also keep a “gratitude note” open on my iPhone and jot things down as I go through the day, which makes my evening journaling much simpler.
5. When you are having a bad day, read an entry from your journal. Trust me, you will still have bad days. When you do, having that journal is a quick way to remind yourself about all of the great things you have in your life.

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People who know me professionally at work know I can be pretty uptight and b!tchy (I work in management, after all). One day I was walking on the pediatric nursing unit and passed by an infant in a rocking chair with an IV line. He was just sleeping, and fighting for his life (presumably); yet, here I was complaining about whatever problem I was dealing with at that moment. In an instant, my mood changed and I remembered to be grateful for living and for my life.​

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As I wrote this forum post, I decided to look at some of my old journal entries. Here are some of my favorites from the past 3 weeks:​

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• Cold-brewed iced coffee
• Meetings that end early
• Getting a good workout
• Talking to my brother on the phone after work
• Getting a compliment
• Early morning shopping at Target
• Waking up without an alarm clock
• The smell of fresh bed sheets out of the laundry
• Cute dogs
• Sleeping when it’s raining outside
• Getting emails from friends I haven’t spoken with in awhile
• Enjoying a beer on a Friday night
• Saturday afternoon naps

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Anyway, I just wanted to share something with you guys that I think will have a huge impact on me spiritually. I encourage you to practice the art of gratitude in whichever way you can. I don’t think keeping a journal has, all of a sudden, made everything in my life better (let’s be realistic). However, I do think this daily exercise has conditioned me to notice all of the wonderful blessings I have in my life.​

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So, what do you do to practice gratitude?​

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[Euchale]

Compared to how I am online, I´m actually a pretty balanced person in RL. The best thing you can do, to become a more positive person, is trying to help other people. Part of this is to learn who to help and who not to help. It´s sometimes just as challenging to not to help somebody, because you hurt him in the long run. Also never pester people that you would help them. Just let them know once or twice and they will come back to you. There is nothing more annoying than if you want to do something on your own and somebody else is correcting you all the time.

Another thing that helped me was becoming cynical. I can laugh about almost anything. I can joke about my dead grandpa and his involvement in the second world war. If you laugh about a situation that is very difficult to handle, it can take out a lot of stress. Just be careful not to do it in front of people who are not as resistant as you.

Lastly: Expect that everybody around you is mentally disabled. I know this sounds harsh, but this prevents soooooo many misunderstandings, when you simply ask:"Any questions?" after something super easy to do.

 

[Passage]

So, what do you do to practice gratitude?

Such a difficult question to answer! The journaling sounds very intriguing; I'd like to give it a shot.

On the day to day, I'd like to say that I'm thankful for the small things. The example you gave with the infant hooked up to the IV is a situation I've carried with me for a very long time. I've had many people in my life die at an age younger than I felt they should have. Most recently, my sister passed away from cancer. As grim as that is, she put up a good fight and lived several years longer than she was expected to. She also had 5 wonderful children whom I should see more often.

No matter how difficult a time I'm having, there is always a scenario happening elsewhere in the world that could be much worse, and I've understood from an early age that one day I, too, will die. Perpetually keeping that in mind, I believe I've grown accustomed to appreciating many things because when that day comes I will no longer get to enjoy anything (big or small). Life really is too short.

There are also people in regions of the world without many luxuries I take for granted. Coffee, for example, was historically only available to the wealthy. My dad tells me stories about Vietnam that make me appreciate toilet paper. Even a cold rainy day can be pleasant when it reminds me of my exploratory puddle jumping days in elementary school (usually triggered by the smell of the rain or the feeling of wet jeans).

My parents, to this day, drive me nuts. We fight and argue, but one day they'll be gone and I'll be wishing for another day to argue with them just once more. To even have both parents is a blessing that my father never knew.

And regardless of any disagreement my GF and I may have, I leave the house everyday telling her that I love her because of the small chance that something may happen to her or myself during the course of that day. Same with my parents when we get a chance to chat. I am thankful for them. When the day comes that I'll have to reflect on the last conversation we had, I'll know that I aimed for reconciliation and will be content to know those were the last words spoken.

Looking back over what I've written, it seems that my gratitude is paired with a lot of sadness, but I do believe that I'm living a life with less regret than many and all-in-all I'm happier than most.

 

[Milleuda]

The best thing you can do, to become a more positive person, is trying to help other people.

I really do believe in the pay-it-forward mantra. There have been a few people in my life who have helped me get where I am today and asked for absolutely nothing in return. Because of their generosity, I do the same now and just help people if I am able to. Overall I think the universe is a better place if people have that mindset.

 

[Milleuda]

Looking back over what I've written, it seems that my gratitude is paired with a lot of sadness, but I do believe that I'm living a life with less regret than many and all-in-all I'm happier than most.

Funny you say this, since I think many people come to appreciate things more deeply if they have experienced some kind of grief or sadness in their past. I actually share this with you, since a lot of my childhood was clouded in what I consider "darkness," which makes me all that more grateful for the life I have now.

Thanks for sharing! Also, if you end up trying to journal a little let me know how it goes!

 

[Baldoraxx]

Pay it forward is amazing. I have done it a few times at a fast food joint, in the store and in the drive-thru. To see the shock and awe on their face makes it worth it

 

[Cheese]

Sometimes the simple things are the best.

Instead of blowing up or going all crazy about how wrong or stupid someone is I try to educate them.
I try to educate them about what is really going on regardless of how much they want to fight.
I'm grateful that the cycle didn't end with the person who taught me something.

Not perfect, but very grateful that I can be decent. (sometimes)

 

[Milleuda]

Sometimes the simple things are the best.

I honestly think people would be much happier, in general, if they took the time to appreciate simple things.

As a generality, our society centers around "big" moments and material possessions (nice car, nice job, big house, large salary, etc). It's a shame, because I think the small, subtle moments we easily miss are the ones that make all the difference.