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Learning to Let Go... i.e. #StopHoarding

Milleuda

Mother Hen
Background

I have always lived in large spaces. When I was in college, my apartments ranged from 1 to 3 bedrooms depending on what time of my life you were looking at. When I moved from Houston to Columbus, I lived in a 1-bedroom apartment for part of it before renting a 3-bedroom house.

Fast forward to 2013 when my career brought me to Chicago. I moved into a spacious, 2-bedroom, 1600 square foot condo in Roscoe Village. It was a great space and I loved it, but the only downside was my commute to work every day. I had to take a bus to the train, then the train into downtown, and then walk from the train station for about 10 minutes to the hospital. When you added it all up, my commute was anywhere from 45 minutes to 1 hour (each way) depending on how public transportation was that day. Needless to say, it was time for a change.

The Junk

I decided on a studio apartment that was less than 5 minutes (walking distance) away from the hospital. It was a high-rise and the views from the apartment were spectacular. The one small catch: 543 square feet. In essence, I was cutting my living space by 67%. It didn't seem like a big deal until I started to evaluate my belongings and make decisions on what was staying and what had to go.

I started to feel overwhelmed by the task of deciding what to keep vs. throw away, so I had to come up with ground rules:
  • Has this been used within the last year? If yes, then keep. If no, then...
  • Is this something you can buy again? If yes, then throw away. If no, then...
  • Does it have sentimental value? If no, then throw away. If yes, then...
  • Can it be digitized? If yes, then digitize and throw away. If no, then keep.
This was a tough exercise. But it had to be done. I didn't need those textbooks from college that were collecting dust. Or those empty photo albums from Target that I thought I would fill with pictures. Or all those coffee mugs I picked up from conventions. Or those clothes that looked cute in 2008. Receipts. Old utility bills. Linens that I don't even use for guests. Magazines. Old greeting cards. I was just surprised at how much "junk" I had without even realizing it. I donated what I could and ended up hiring some junk experts to get rid of the rest. They were able to fill their ENTIRE truck with my junk after applying the rules above:

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Lessons Learned

I was actually able to downsize quite a bit and get rid of the junk I had been holding onto for years. Before this, I would have never called myself a "hoarder," but this definitely opened my eyes to how much junk I was keeping. I did learn quite a few things along the way:
  • You can hire people to come into your house and haul away the junk. Do a google search for services in your area. They end up donating what they can to local charities, churches, etc and safely dispose of the rest
  • Save receipts for anything you donate to charity and write them off on your taxes
  • Digitize: I didn't need 90% of the receipts I was keeping. Or the photos. Scan what you need, then throw it away
  • Your memories aren't physical objects. They are in your mind. I really didn't need to hold onto that Christmas card from 2005 from my aunt.
  • Old magazines: I probably wasn't going to read them again. Either recycle, give to a doctor's office, or give to a library. If there's an article you really liked, see if it's online or clip it and keep a binder with your favorite clippings.
  • Coins. I had this tupperware full of coins, and while I was depositing a check at my bank, I asked the teller if she had a coin sorter. She did, so I brought my coins back for her. There was $127 in there! WTH.

Setting up for the future

I realized that I needed a system for the future. I didn't end up with all of this junk overnight, but somehow I let it happen. So, in my new apartment I set up three "junk" boxes:

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Every weekend I now spend about 30 minutes looking at any junk I have on my coffee table, in a corner of my bedroom, or in that storage closet (yes, I do have a storage closet in my new space). I apply the same rules above, and things go in the "throw away" box. If, for some strange reason, I think I will use something within a month, I put it in the "maybe" box. If I do end up using it within a month, it gets moved to the "keep" box. If I don't use it within a month, it moves to the "throw away" box. I've been doing this for about 3 weeks now, and in about 1 week I'm going to see how much junk I managed to put in these boxes.

Conclusion (and my apartment views!)

All in all, this was a lesson for me about my propensity to hoard junk. I can't hold onto this stuff and expect to live in the city... it's just too expensive to have that much space for everything. Plus, I definitely feel like I cleansed my soul and am starting with a clean slate. I did give myself leeway with the rules (sorry, not throwing away my vintage video games... too important), but in general I stuck to it. And I have a system to maintain it all. It does feel nice to come home to a minimalist apartment. Hopefully, there's something in here you can apply to your life to get rid of some "junk" in whatever form it exists.

Plus, look at these views from my window!

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Grats, and love the views!

My GF and I have moved about 8 times since 2005 and each move reminds us of how much shit we've accumulated. Back then, I drove to college with whatever I could fit in the back of my Jeep: a suitcase of clothes and toiletries, a hamper with bed stuff, my computer, a photo album, A PS2 with a few games and a CRT TV, a single plate, cup, and set of utensils. It's snowballed to the point where I look at the back of the moving truck now and wonder how all the stuff could possibly have fit into our previous place.

I gotta say, though, I dig your system. It's fairly easy for me to part with things (I do have moments of stubbornness), but I think it could help me convince my better half to reduce some of our "what if" items. Bookmarking this for later!
 
Old magazines
Guilty. Another thing that I hoard is cables. So I have practically any from x to y adapter you can imagine (like HDMI to VGA or SD card to USB and so). Other than that, I have most stuff in digital form anyway.
Since I´ve just moved to the UK and I had to reduce my "life" to 20 kg of stuff that I can take with me I know where you are coming from. I still miss my PC though (Rest in Piece).

My dad is a hoarder. He takes those tomato boxes writes on them what he is going to put in the box and puts it in. This leads to some boxes only containing a single piece of paper. And there are a lot of duplicates.
When we wanted to renovate our computer room at home we took EVERY SINGLE BOX from my dad and looked through them and sorted it. We threw about half of the stuff away because it was bought since it was cheap, even though you never use it.
After that it was pretty clean.
 
It must feel like a weight off your shoulders to be able to get rid of a lot of that stuff that you now realize you don't need. You end up filling up your current living space because you have it, but don't always need the stuff you are filling it with. I love going through that stuff and just donating or throwing it out.

That commute must be amazing! And those views are just awesome.
 
Your place is still bigger than ours in square footage, AND we live with two people and a cat!

That said, I'm the guy that who goes to places and brings back all the free crap with no intention to actually use it (I was good at last years PAX, but still brought a ton of crap home). We recently did a spring clean to make space for the cat, and I have to admit... I love my crap.
 
I gotta say, though, I dig your system. It's fairly easy for me to part with things (I do have moments of stubbornness), but I think it could help me convince my better half to reduce some of our "what if" items. Bookmarking this for later!

Thanks! I think part of my problem was I didn't have a process, and at least with this I am re-evaluating everything in these boxes on a monthly basis. Plus, it gives me time to truly trial something that I **think** I need.
 
Bravo! This is a struggle for me as well. I tend to attach a lot of sentiment to random stuff. Like the tshirt that I wore in PE in junior high. Those really aren't great memories, but they seemed to give value to what was actually just a really old tshirt that didn't really fit me anymore.

My wife helped with with an intervention, and I was able to part with a good amount of clothes (the main hoarding culprit for me). I held onto one thing from my high school years (my senior class tshirt) and let the rest go. It was weird because I felt kind of bad in the act of throwing it out, but once it was gone, it didn't bother me anymore.

Anyway, way to go! Simplifying is usually best.[DOUBLEPOST=1435692979,1435692716][/DOUBLEPOST]
Pretty sure the opposite of gay is heterosexual

I think the feels and emotions we have are pretty identical for the most part. I'd say homo/hetero/bi/trans are all sides of the same coin (or perhaps a die?), with the opposite being asexual, meaning they don't experience sexual feelings at all.

TLDR; forms that ask for sex should just have boxes that say "Yes, please" and "No, thank you"
 
So the opposite of gay is bro?

Honestly I thought they were the same for a long time (and still secretly do)

Great story Millie, and GREAT APARTMENT! at least the view.
It's quite a transition going to the city life of an uncluttered space.

Living overseas I couldnt keep anything that didnt fit into 3 suitcases.
I kept a closet of things back at my parents house and would go through it every few years to make it smaller.
Now, I'm in a one bedroom house and I'm going nutty filling it with trinkets and taking stuff out of storage.

Feels fantastic to have the opportunity to fill my life with neat things, but I have to make sure I dont start filling boxes with junk I'll never use.
Easy to become a hoarder, at least on the non critical level.
Although I am buying things I probably wont use I'm picking up a lot of classic goodies I can sort through in my next move and use as some kick ass decoration pieces. I honestly look forward to the sorting.
It's a great time to go over recent memories and items to think about what to do with them all.
 
My dad is a hoarder.

Mine too... and I didn't think I had it in me until recently. Now that I'm aware I'll be more careful about what I bring into my apartment.

It must feel like a weight off your shoulders to be able to get rid of a lot of that stuff that you now realize you don't need. You end up filling up your current living space because you have it, but don't always need the stuff you are filling it with. I love going through that stuff and just donating or throwing it out.

It is definitely cathartic to just get rid of everything. Some things were tough, but in general once everything was gone I didn't miss it.

That said, I'm the guy that who goes to places and brings back all the free crap with no intention to actually use it (I was good at last years PAX, but still brought a ton of crap home). We recently did a spring clean to make space for the cat, and I have to admit... I love my crap.

I learned this lesson awhile ago when I brought home BAGS of junk from pharmacy conventions. Did I really need all those pens and sticky notes? Not really lol
 
Did I really need all those pens and sticky notes?
It will make you best friends with your colleagues, at least from my experience.

I was looking through my old pictures trying to find how my PC place looked like (the same place where my dad was hoarding all of his boxes) but I couldn´t find it. Instead I found cake:
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My mom was a hoarder, it made going through everything after she passed very difficult. It took me over a month to go through everything in her office and figure out what was important and what wasn't. I know I can get that way too, which is why when I moved I made crystal come over so she could question me on everything I wanted to take. It worked out well cause I was able to fit everything I ended up getting into my apartment except for an old blue chair that was my grandpa's. But at least of I have a lot of company I have an extra chair in my garage that I can use.
 
It will make you best friends with your colleagues, at least from my experience.

I was looking through my old pictures trying to find how my PC place looked like (the same place where my dad was hoarding all of his boxes) but I couldn´t find it. Instead I found cake:
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It is not a lie with Euchale.

I think I may also do this in video games. I should go through my character bank and clean up

I'm 10x worse in games. Paid off with transmog and costumes though.
 
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