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MY COOKIE!

tr1age

tr1age

Administrator
Staff member
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Your goal is to get the cookie. Unfortunately, the person before you has protected the cookie the best that they could. Find a way to steal it, and then keep it for yourself.

Anyways, it should go something like this…
Noobman456: I put the cookie in a safe, with a 10-number code.
Stupidalt123: I crack the code and steal the cookie. I eat the cookie.
Obvioustroll345: I dissect your stomach, and steal the cookie. I throw the cookie in a ditch.
Weirdo234: The ditch is only 1 inch deep, and I simply pick up the cookie. I put the cookie in my pocket.
Etc.

Also, you are not allowed to create, purchase, or somehow recieve a new cookie unless the previous cookie is impossible to get.

I will start.
I put the cookie in a secret military base.
 
I hire solid snake to steal the cookie for me then I scan it and spread it all over the internet as a digital copy of the original one
 
I sneak in to Thova's house while he is sleeping and swipe the original cookie from his scanner while swiftly uploading a killer kbambz coded super virus that scours the internet for those digital copies and zaps them all into oblivion. I then lick the cookie, "mmm tasty!", and then flush it down the toilet.
 
Since internet piracy is so rampant I easily find a download site and download the cookie then print it out with my 3d printer. I then upload a virus that destroys all the copies and infects the original to disintegrate to its separate atoms.

I put the cookie *2.0 into the large hadron collider which then creates a tiny black hole that sucks it into another dimension.
 
I jump into the black hole, pick up the cookie off the ground in the other dimension, spend some time with the locals (this is of course the alternate reality of Earth populated by only hot sex-starved nympho female humans after all). Then I feed the cookie to a bunch of bacteria and drop them into a bioreactor full of zombie virus.
 
Corvus Rex said:
Then I feed the cookie to a bunch of bacteria and drop them into a bioreactor full of zombie virus.
Click to expand...
That doesn't sound very protected... BUT NONE THE LESS. I find Patient Zero of the zombie apocolypse, create an immunity strain that I inject myself with, then storm into the bioreactor with a all of the bacteria still feasting on the cookie. I simply extract the core data of the cookie and reset to manufactures 2.0 (tig's) settings. Because apparently we made the cookie a virtual entity, as well as organic.

I then put the cookie in my pocket. As I sit inside a robot. Who sits in the center of the earth and is immune ot the intense heat of the earths core and immune to any form of gravitational influence. So here I sit, in my robot, at the center of the earth, impenetrable, the with cookie in my pocket. Quite comfy here by myself.
 
I use my intense hacking skills to reprogram the robot and have him start digging his way out of the earth. Upon reaching the surface level it immediately goes into shock at seeing my magnificent body covered in blue warpaint. The robot ejects both Gyoin and the cookie before I re-shape its physical form and send it hurling through space, hilariously. With the cookie in my possession, I hire the best Asian scientists that money can buy to clone the cookie infinitely.

Simultaneously I have created an entire army of genetically engineered super killers to protect all the clones of the cookie. The original cookie is then given to my personal bodyguard, the most savage of all the super killers to keep safe. After this, I take a bubble bath to relax after a hard day. Feeling stressed out, I try to relax my mind by explaining out loud that my actions are justified because "I did it all for the Cookie".
 
I just build my time-machine. Travel back in time to before the cookie was invented and steal the recipe and kill all involved in its process. I then push the random-year button and close my eyes and disappear to the future? past?
 
Baldoraxx said:
I just build my time-machine. Travel back in time to before the cookie was invented and steal the recipe and kill all involved in its process. I then push the random-year button and close my eyes and disappear to the future? past?
Click to expand...

Sorry to disappoint you, but according to Legend of Zelda, you have actually just caused a parallel time stream and Drac still owns his cookie.

Also, http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/CookieHistory.htm WHO DID YOU KILL? IN WHAT TIME PERIOD!?! Leaving the game open ended without a concise location kinda ruins the game. If you can use your answer for ANY post given, it's a cheap response. Keep it in relation to the previous person's post, or their post loses their flair of creativity.

Continue from Drac's post.
 
Drac said:
I use my intense hacking skills to reprogram the robot and have him start digging his way out of the earth. Upon reaching the surface level it immediately goes into shock at seeing my magnificent body covered in blue warpaint. The robot ejects both Gyoin and the cookie before I re-shape its physical form and send it hurling through space, hilariously. With the cookie in my possession, I hire the best Asian scientists that money can buy to clone the cookie infinitely.

Simultaneously I have created an entire army of genetically engineered super killers to protect all the clones of the cookie. The original cookie is then given to my personal bodyguard, the most savage of all the super killers to keep safe. After this, I take a bubble bath to relax after a hard day. Feeling stressed out, I try to relax my mind by explaining out loud that my actions are justified because "I did it all for the Cookie".
Click to expand...
Well then, i find myself in a pickle. I have stalked the compound many for 8 months now not finding much of an opening or a weakness. This army is good... real good. /sigh Luckily i have found the weakness through extensive and... painful experience that the #1 bodyguard has a weakness for stuffed bunnies. I sell my kidney for the last stuffed bunny on this desolate planet. I sneak past the guards and into the compound. Almost getting spotted but at the last second i throw a rock and it hits a barrel. The guards go see what the disturbance is. I sigh in relief. I make it to where the bodyguard is and i see him. I place the bunny down and whistle. He's immediately looks in my direction and sees the bunny. Loosing all masculinity he skips to the bunny and i drive my knife into his neck. I grab the cookie and make a run for it. I get into a firefight with the guards and take a hit to the shoulder. I am fine and make it out alright as i detonate the explosives set around the compound. "Look at the pretty fireworks"

I hire NASA to send me to the moon where i have had built my moon base with laser cannon stretching the perimeter and loose genetically enhanced undead walkers with guns. I never have less than 8 of the worlds best bodyguards more than a room away. I kick back and relax as Jimmy Buffet plays "Pour me something tall and strong..."
 
Through the use of my innate chinese kenpo mastery and a run in with a coven or dark sorcerers that leaves me cursed to a poltergeist like form i phase throught the walls of your moon base, lasers pass through me leaving me unharmed and your bodyguards are left unconscious.
I simply pick up the cookie and float back down to earth to a life of solitude in the tibetan mountains as a gholsty kung fu master hermit
:p
 
I retrieve the original cookie from the sewers where it had been floating, forgotten while everyone fought over the copy printed by T1G (nothing you say will convince me you can disintegrate a cookie with a computer virus). I press it to my face. MMMMmmmm.... smells like Kismet.

I place it into a safe deposit box with instructions for it to be buried with me when I die.
 
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