So here I am, sitting at work. I was supposed to be "released" on March 1st, but here I am a on the 18th, just biding my time. I am now allowed to work 15 hours a week roughly. Anyone who is in the adult world of bills knows that working a full time job of 40+ hours a week is usually still not enough to support oneself, but alas, here I am at work two days a week. Not even full days mind you.
Have any of you ever experienced being in this state of limbo? Asking yourself every day "Should I even bother?" I literally sit here all day looking for a job. I don't have any more duties here at work. I sit here in a fish smelling office on a computer looking for jobs and being paid. Some may think this is a big perk, but do you have any idea how emasculating it is to sit here with everyone looking at you, knowing you don't belong, you shouldn't exist, you have no purpose. Everyone knows, it's no secret. I'm not supposed to be here. Many also received bonuses and raises not too long ago, as per their annual increases. Not me though. Nope, I moved to this town because I was guaranteed stability. I was promised a future. I sacrificed many things in my life in order to appease to their wants and needs. Instead I'm rewarded with a Death Sentence, awaiting my own demise.
Normally I wouldn't mind the extra time off. But the thing is, I made financial decisions based on having a dependable income. Now I'm SoL because of a bad year and I'm the newest guy on the roster. Worst thing is, if I had known when I was offered full time after my temp stint, I wouldn't have accepted. I would have begun my search for a job then. No, instead, they kept me on because I was filling a nuisance role, traveling for months. No one else wanted to go if I were to leave, so they offered me a full time job. They expected some growth in the industry, and expected to expand. Instead, it plummeted. No one else is suffering is feeling it. I get to listen to the owner talk about his six digit cars, cottage in Vermont, and all of his lavish vacations. Yes, you own the business. Yes, you worked hard. But after I make sacrifices to make your business prosper, I get the axe.
Sadly with this development, NH unemployment isn't quite an option. Since I was offered employment, even part time, I can't fully collect. If I quit from the part time stint, I won't be eligible for anything. I can apply for partial unemployment, but it's practically zero'd out because of what I make part time currently. It's a joke. So here I am, doling out all of my savings for the ability to have a roof over my head and food on the table. It wouldn't be so bad if I were to find a job soon, but after relocating, I'll now have a harder time finding a good job. At least not without traveling an hour+ each way for less pay than I received from this job, which was less than 10 minute drive. Now I'm in a lease with I can't break without paying a hefty fine, can't relocate without major expenses thus negating my ability to move.
Now I'm at the situation of "Why me?" I've always been taught to work hard, do everything you can and you will be rewarded. My reward so far was a small boost of finances from working overtime for months and then cut down at the knees. I don't get it. No one wants a guy with just a year experience, no matter how skilled or educated he may be. I have the ability to support myself for about another 4-5 months, maybe longer if I start collecting something from the government (which I really do not want to do).
It wouldn't be so bad if they just made the clean cut and I was gone. It's the waiting that's terrible. Come into work, knowing I mean nothing to anyone, and exist for the sake of existing, all the while everyone goes along their days as if I don't exist, full well knowing I do.
On that note, anyone need an accountant? Or a financial analyst? I have my resume and two glorious recommendations ready for anyone who needs one.
Have any of you ever experienced being in this state of limbo? Asking yourself every day "Should I even bother?" I literally sit here all day looking for a job. I don't have any more duties here at work. I sit here in a fish smelling office on a computer looking for jobs and being paid. Some may think this is a big perk, but do you have any idea how emasculating it is to sit here with everyone looking at you, knowing you don't belong, you shouldn't exist, you have no purpose. Everyone knows, it's no secret. I'm not supposed to be here. Many also received bonuses and raises not too long ago, as per their annual increases. Not me though. Nope, I moved to this town because I was guaranteed stability. I was promised a future. I sacrificed many things in my life in order to appease to their wants and needs. Instead I'm rewarded with a Death Sentence, awaiting my own demise.
Normally I wouldn't mind the extra time off. But the thing is, I made financial decisions based on having a dependable income. Now I'm SoL because of a bad year and I'm the newest guy on the roster. Worst thing is, if I had known when I was offered full time after my temp stint, I wouldn't have accepted. I would have begun my search for a job then. No, instead, they kept me on because I was filling a nuisance role, traveling for months. No one else wanted to go if I were to leave, so they offered me a full time job. They expected some growth in the industry, and expected to expand. Instead, it plummeted. No one else is suffering is feeling it. I get to listen to the owner talk about his six digit cars, cottage in Vermont, and all of his lavish vacations. Yes, you own the business. Yes, you worked hard. But after I make sacrifices to make your business prosper, I get the axe.
Sadly with this development, NH unemployment isn't quite an option. Since I was offered employment, even part time, I can't fully collect. If I quit from the part time stint, I won't be eligible for anything. I can apply for partial unemployment, but it's practically zero'd out because of what I make part time currently. It's a joke. So here I am, doling out all of my savings for the ability to have a roof over my head and food on the table. It wouldn't be so bad if I were to find a job soon, but after relocating, I'll now have a harder time finding a good job. At least not without traveling an hour+ each way for less pay than I received from this job, which was less than 10 minute drive. Now I'm in a lease with I can't break without paying a hefty fine, can't relocate without major expenses thus negating my ability to move.
Now I'm at the situation of "Why me?" I've always been taught to work hard, do everything you can and you will be rewarded. My reward so far was a small boost of finances from working overtime for months and then cut down at the knees. I don't get it. No one wants a guy with just a year experience, no matter how skilled or educated he may be. I have the ability to support myself for about another 4-5 months, maybe longer if I start collecting something from the government (which I really do not want to do).
It wouldn't be so bad if they just made the clean cut and I was gone. It's the waiting that's terrible. Come into work, knowing I mean nothing to anyone, and exist for the sake of existing, all the while everyone goes along their days as if I don't exist, full well knowing I do.
On that note, anyone need an accountant? Or a financial analyst? I have my resume and two glorious recommendations ready for anyone who needs one.
... why aren't they making a clean break? Do they expect you to be grateful for being kept on a tether for 15 hours a week? What benefit is that to them? So you don't file for unemployment?
