Things you DON'T want to hear!

[Jia]

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There are many takes on the classic "Things you don't want to hear from ____" jokes, whether it's your pilot or your surgeon who's filling in the blank.​

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Your mission is to come up with something you wouldn't want to hear and who you wouldn't want to hear it from!​

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Example: I wouldn't want to hear my surgeon say: "Right, he should be out cold for the next twelve hours. Put my favorite Justin Bieber album on repeat, this is going to be a long surgery. Scalpel!" ​

 

[TIG]

"here's your work assignment for tonight" from my boss. To bad I hear it every day.

 

[ToxicAsF]

"You might want to get tested" - Any sexual partner.

 

[Valikar]

"we need to talk" - your partner

 

[Keleynal]

"I've started dating someone" - my daughter (still a long way off, but *shudder*

 

[Waldemar]

"Your wisdom tooth has got 4 roots" from your dentist after an hour of struggeling t get it out. ( and yes my mouth is full of blood, and yes this happened to me just now)

 

[Valikar]

"I've started dating someone" - my daughter (still a long way off, but *shudder*

even worse when she tells you he is super cool and older....i share in your shuddering and i dont even have kids yet.

how about...

i hope everyone's finished their assignments since the deadlines tomorrow - anyone in education

 

[Razulian]

"You have to complete this task in the following 2 hours" and then after I completed everything he says to someone else "That's okay, you guys'll get 2 hours extra anyway the following lesson"- My electronics teacher
Happened to me today.

PS: My old electronics teacher (who's retired and is one of my favorite teachers btw) came back to school today with cheesecake for everyone because it was his birthday a few days ago, while everyone was eating like 5 pieces I only got myself 2 and continued working on my task (completed it!).

 

[tr1age]

"You can checking early via united.com for your flight from Mexico to San Francisco tomorrow"

 

[Keleynal]

"Oops"- your barber.

 

[Daniel Fortesque]

"Sooo..." - Anyone, ever. Nothing good ever follows a long "So"

 

[Valikar]

"Oops"- your barber.

or your dentist, or your doctor

 

[Ultra CHEZ]

"Wait, you can use a sword in the mainhand?" From your guild leader.

 

[Thivas]

For me is something a bit weird that i prefer not to explain: "Where are you from?"

 

[REDACTED]

My boss to say, "That's a pretty dress you are wearing, but it needs a pink slip."

 

[Valikar]

"chugger chug chug chug" - your car as it runs out of petrol half way down the motorway (a UK freeway)

 

[Valikar]

"ooo that was close, i probably should have measure that beforehand" - me upon constructing a piece of furniture

(considering i designed and made it myself and on a furniture course this is a terrible thing for me to say)

 

[Baldoraxx]

I don't to hear my boss say: "You are getting a promotion... but you have to help me out *wink* *wink*

 

[Valikar]

"hey guys, just wanted to let you know i shaved my beard" - Gyoin

 

[Jia]

"forum going white for 3 minutes" - Tristan