Menu
By:
Filters
What's new

Looking at other women. Pig or Double Standard?

Zevrix said:
Thank you! <3

I think that might be why I'm so insecure. He's amazing and I don't want to lose him. D:
Click to expand...

It is all about how much crazy you can deal with Zevrix. And you and him seem to be Ok with each others :)
 
tr1age said:
This is a very strange statement here... Bathing suits at a pool make you uncomfortable? This is an american thing. Go to Europe(broad I know, switzerland zurich is where I base most my "Europe" statements from), naked naked naked. And no one thinks twice. Do they look? hell yes. Do they care, hell no. Do they have the same structure american has, no, but do they have a much easier going attitude about social interaction? Hell yes.

Is it right? Who the fuck knows and who cares, because it works. They can more openly talk about STDS and prevent infections because sex ins't some weird stigma or Jersey Shore trophy.

Not sure how a bathing suit at a pool on a younger girl mind you is hostile and dangerous to ones health......
Click to expand...
I think it's a personal thing. I may not have the fortitude that other guys have to see attractive women in little to no clothing and remain detatched and objective. Knowing my weakness, I avoid situations that could cause potential problems.

I do have an outlook on humanity that we are basically bad. We don't have to teach our children to lie, cheat, and steal. It doesn't take discipline and self control to murder or rape. The flesh is hardwired toward wickedness and must be controlled, or else we will destroy ourselves and others.
 
Keleynal said:
I think it's a personal thing. I may not have the fortitude that other guys have to see attractive women in little to no clothing and remain detatched and objective. Knowing my weakness, I avoid situations that could cause potential problems.

I do have an outlook on humanity that we are basically bad. We don't have to teach our children to lie, cheat, and steal. It doesn't take discipline and self control to murder or KITTEN. The flesh is hardwired toward wickedness and must be controlled, or else we will destroy ourselves and others.
Click to expand...

This is also a bi-product of religious teachings.
 
I feel like there's a rift here between ideals and pragmatism.

Ideally a woman should, perhaps, be able to wear whatever she wants without encouraging the throbbing libido of the male masses.

Pragmatically, however, that's not the case.

Kali, everyone, including yourself, will have unharnessed thoughts. The difference isn't that we have thoughts. It's the actions we take with them. Tristan can look at clothes on a woman, and admire the way it falls on her, but he takes that thought and buys his girl an outfit he thinks she'd enjoy. Another man might ask that woman out on a date. Another person might commit a felony. Each of these actions are up to them. Because they are actions.

But to wear a short skirt in public with an outfit that is DAMNED stunning and condemning the male population for their slanderous thoughts is backwards. And, conversely, if you dressed up in extremely conservative cloth, there would STILL be men having those thoughts.

It's the action here, not the thought, that matters.

Maybe it's a guy thing, but if I'm dating you, and I'm in love with you, then for ****s sake why does anything any other woman does matter?

The one woman in my entire life I thought I might actually marry...our relationship began to end because I was "too" open with her about what was going on in my life when I was away on work. She then became jealous of a co-star I was on set with, and I was oblivious to this being a problem with us.

Because I loved her. I thought I was going to marry one day. And g*d-damnit, that's where that line of thinking should have ended.

It's the action. Period.
 
tr1age said:
So what you are saying is people get KITTENS because they wear clothes and society accepts that? Is it the same in your mind then how a black man in a hooded sweatshirt can get shot by law enforcement? Idiots are ingrained into society be it a passerby or a cop. Does this define society? I would hope not. We choose many things in our lives here and with the way society is there are norms and things that are not normal. If you go clubbing in a skin tight outfit and get hit on, why does this piss you off? If you went to the SAME club in sweats and a hoodie, you would get a different reaction. Social interaction is a thing and fashion does determine interaction.. Men too. Men do not go to interviews for a new job in sweats we go in a suit. It is perception of being an "adult" or knowing how to partake int eh rules of engagement. We don't go to college all the time to get a diploma necessarily, we go so that Joe Shmoe can look at our resume and say, oh this fucker went through the same shit I did.
Click to expand...

There is a difference between clothing as a statement made towards the observer and objectification.

Yes it does define society. If people didn't think like that cop, the guy in the hoodie probably wouldn't have been shot. SO YES TRISTAN. IT DOES DEFINE SOCIETY. @_@;

Girls night out, we want to look hot for our girlies but don't want to get hit on. That's why we'd get pissed off. Simple.
 
Keleynal said:
I think it's a personal thing. I may not have the fortitude that other guys have to see attractive women in little to no clothing and remain detatched and objective. Knowing my weakness, I avoid situations that could cause potential problems.

I do have an outlook on humanity that we are basically bad. We don't have to teach our children to lie, cheat, and steal. It doesn't take discipline and self control to murder or KITTEN. The flesh is hardwired toward wickedness and must be controlled, or else we will destroy ourselves and others.
Click to expand...

Actually yes. Those are all learned behaviors.
 
Here.

Let's take this further.

Have you ever "self-serviced" to the thoughts of someone else? Have you ever felt guilty for having done that?
 
Dash said:
I feel like there's a rift here between ideals and pragmatism.

Ideally a woman should, perhaps, be able to wear whatever she wants without encouraging the throbbing libido of the male masses.

Pragmatically, however, that's not the case.

Kali, everyone, including yourself, will have unharnessed thoughts. The difference isn't that we have thoughts. It's the actions we take with them. Tristan can look at clothes on a woman, and admire the way it falls on her, but he takes that thought and buys his girl an outfit he thinks she'd enjoy. Another man might ask that woman out on a date. Another person might commit a felony. Each of these actions are up to them. Because they are actions.

But to wear a short skirt in public with an outfit that is DAMNED stunning and condemning the male population for their slanderous thoughts is backwards. And, conversely, if you dressed up in extremely conservative cloth, there would STILL be men having those thoughts.

It's the action here, not the thought, that matters.

Maybe it's a guy thing, but if I'm dating you, and I'm in love with you, then for ****s sake why does anything any other woman does matter?

The one woman in my entire life I thought I might actually marry...our relationship began to end because I was "too" open with her about what was going on in my life when I was away on work. She then became jealous of a co-star I was on set with, and I was oblivious to this being a problem with us.

Because I loved her. I thought I was going to marry one day. And g*d-damnit, that's where that line of thinking should have ended.

It's the action. Period.
Click to expand...

I'll agree to disaggree :3

Thoughts lead to action. Actions lead to consequences.
 
Kali said:
There is a difference between clothing as a statement made towards the observer and objectification.

Yes it does define society. If people didn't think like that cop, the guy in the hoodie probably wouldn't have been shot. SO YES TRISTAN. IT DOES DEFINE SOCIETY. @_@;

Girls night out, we want to look hot for our girlies but don't want to get hit on. That's why we'd get pissed off. Simple.
Click to expand...

This mentality is as naive as the guy hitting on the girl. And to be honest this kind of mentality pisses me off more than a guy cat calling a girl on the street. For some reason women who think this way have a sense of entitlement, not equality.
 
Dash said:
I feel like there's a rift here between ideals and pragmatism.

Ideally a woman should, perhaps, be able to wear whatever she wants without encouraging the throbbing libido of the male masses.

Pragmatically, however, that's not the case.

Kali, everyone, including yourself, will have unharnessed thoughts. The difference isn't that we have thoughts. It's the actions we take with them. Tristan can look at clothes on a woman, and admire the way it falls on her, but he takes that thought and buys his girl an outfit he thinks she'd enjoy. Another man might ask that woman out on a date. Another person might commit a felony. Each of these actions are up to them. Because they are actions.

But to wear a short skirt in public with an outfit that is DAMNED stunning and condemning the male population for their slanderous thoughts is backwards. And, conversely, if you dressed up in extremely conservative cloth, there would STILL be men having those thoughts.

It's the action here, not the thought, that matters.

Maybe it's a guy thing, but if I'm dating you, and I'm in love with you, then for ****s sake why does anything any other woman does matter?

The one woman in my entire life I thought I might actually marry...our relationship began to end because I was "too" open with her about what was going on in my life when I was away on work. She then became jealous of a co-star I was on set with, and I was oblivious to this being a problem with us.

Because I loved her. I thought I was going to marry one day. And g*d-damnit, that's where that line of thinking should have ended.

It's the action. Period.
Click to expand...

I AGREE well said sir. "Handle Yo' Shit" people just don't seem to be able to do it all the time haha
 
Dash said:
Here.

Let's take this further.

Have you ever "self-serviced" to the thoughts of someone else? Have you ever felt guilty for having done that?
Click to expand...
This actually brings up another can of worms in my crazy-ass brain. I've been trying to get over my hatred of porn. This is NOT for religious reasons or fear of addiction or anything like that. I don't like porn, because I don't want images of other people in my head or my SO's head when sexual things are happening (solo or not).

Also, most porn actors gross me out, but that's just preference. <_<
 
Zevrix said:
This actually brings up another can of worms in my crazy-ass brain. I've been trying to get over my hatred of porn. This is NOT for religious reasons or fear of addiction or anything like that. I don't like porn, because I don't want images of other people in my head or my SO's head when sexual things are happening (solo or not).
Click to expand...

Zevrix if I could take back porn I would. Cause I swear it has given me too many ideas of crazy things that make the simpler moments harder to enjoy. Don't get me wrong though, being connected with that person in your life emotionally is more powerful than any porn video can ever do. And will give you emotions and feelings way stronger. :) Not to mention, we don't need porn to have a "spank bank" lthe invention of Yoga pants was enough lol
 
Keleynal said:
YOU are amazing. And never let any bf or lack thereof make you think otherwise.
Click to expand...
Thank you, but have noticed all the crazy in my head? lol
I'm extremely lucky that he's an awesome dude. My last BF was crazy in his own way and STILL couldn't deal with my insecurity.. granted, my exes caused a LOT of my issues... mehhhhhhh.
 
Zevrix said:
Thank you, but have noticed all the crazy in my head? lol
I'm extremely lucky that he's an awesome dude. My last BF was crazy in his own way and STILL couldn't deal with my insecurity.. granted, my exes caused a LOT of my issues... mehhhhhhh.
Click to expand...

One thing to keep in mind that I have found will always sink a relationship highly dependent on the two in it but usually sooner or later it will. Balance of power. One person should not feel like they can lose the other person more than the other. A balance of power means you both feel you are equal to each other. Both are moving forward to be the people they want to be and it doesn't throw off the balance to one another. Because when one person has more control over the other, the balance can sink a relationship fast.

I also believe yes we can be affected by our ex relationships but to let those define us is a choice. Up to a point obviously if it was really bad. But to get back on the horse so to say and treat that horse as it is a different horse than the first is important. To hinder on the past hinders ourselves from fully opening the potential of say "love".

We don't go from one job to another half assing it because the last job sucked, we try harder because we want the new job to be better. Same should apply to love. It is on the top list of things we want in life.
 
lol. I just realized how the word KITTEN has been weaving its way through our conversation. I was starting to get visons of small, furry animals flying about, but suddenly it all makes sense.

And religious folk aren't the only ones that ascribe to a basically evil view. Hobbesian philosophers can be found in many secular circles as well.
 
Keleynal said:
lol. I just realized how the word KITTEN has been weaving its way through our conversation. I was starting to get visons of small, furry animals flying about, but suddenly it all makes sense.

And religious folk aren't the only ones that ascribe to a basically evil view. Hobbesian philosophers can be found in many secular circles as well.
Click to expand...

My point was what you are saying is a "taught" belief not an inherent one.
 
Keleynal said:
lol. I just realized how the word KITTEN has been weaving its way through our conversation. I was starting to get visons of small, furry animals flying about, but suddenly it all makes sense.

And religious folk aren't the only ones that ascribe to a basically evil view. Hobbesian philosophers can be found in many secular circles as well.
Click to expand...

I don't know that I like the idea of us being all primarily evil.

If anything, I believe most people mean well. And in the great debate of ethics, that's really all that matters to me.

The more we have compassion for people, rights and wrongs, perhaps the less we'll see ourselves as great sources of evil.

/rainbow

Also, yeah, on the porn thing. I rarely look at it at all anymore also. It's just ridiculous and passionless half the time. Totally agree.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom