Whizzbang posts in Grey
tr1age posts in Red
I am terminally indifferent about most things people argue about on the internet. This holds true for people throwing around words and phrases that other people find offensive. I seldom get very angry whilst gaming, and I know I've never said any of these things discussed here with any amount of malice or ill-intent. Now, having said that, I have more than likely uttered "That's gay" referring to a shitty game-mechanic I didn't approve of, or something else along those lines. Numerous times have I exclaimed "He/She/I/You just got <READ THE ToS> by that thing/mob/feral druid/gravity". Although, not once were any of these comments said to someone in a derogatory or taunting manner.
This to me is the biggest problem. Saying it just to say it, is just reinforcement for those who would use it in a derogatory way. Because then it becomes Ok. I have close people to me that have had to live with r_pe and even mentioning that word will be enough to make them upset. So why even roll the dice?
Could I have used different phrases? Of course.
Should I have used different phrases? Perhaps.
We could argue about what those phrases actually mean, in those contexts, to various types of people all day long - and most likely never see eye to eye. I've seldom had, in my 34 years of socializing on or offline, to temper what I say, because it's always seemed I was one of the least offensive/confrontational people in those settings. Maybe that says more about the type of people I tend to hang out with than anything else. (Thick skinned / rowdy / foul-mouthed / amateur comedians for the most part)
I am not arguing the idea of what those words mean, I am arguing the idea of using them in general. It is like me going and meeting someones family for the first time and saying Yo What Up Bitches! I am arguing that as a a sect of society, an actual cultural influence on others, why do we use words we KNOW don't need to be used? Why do we talk in ways that we don't wish to be talked to? Not everyone spitting this shit is on a stage aspiring to be a comedian.
To me, those two things in particular have become part of the gaming lexicon - for good or for bad. 90% of the time I've heard people say them, it was OBVIOUS, to me anyway, that they meant no intentional slight against any particular person or group of people. They were just using them as exclamations that would readily get across the way they felt about something. Could they, or I for that matter, have used any of the other near infinite ways to articulate their feelings? Without a doubt they could have. But....should they HAVE to just to avoid potentially offending someone?
In my own opinion and the point of this article: Yes. Will I go call a German a Nazi because I feel like making a point? No. The same holds true for calling someone a fag because they beat you in a video game. FFS it is a video game and should be even MORE of a reason NOT to have to add an EXCLAMATION to the conversation that is intentionally hurtful, regardless of meaning.
The much more important issue here is censorship. When someone says I have offended them in some way, I apologize, find out what and why they found it offensive, and try my best not to repeat the incident. Why? Because I'm a decent human being, and I show people respect. When the average 14 year old CoD player is confronted by this, he mercilessly uses that information to insure maximum jimmy-russeling. Why? Because he is an ignorant immature asshat who respects no one.
The problem is there is a line being blurred here between the 14 year old asshat and the "adults". Both are doing it because it is ingrained as being OK in gaming culture.
I knew coming into this community that there were certain things we weren't allowed to say or discuss, not even in a joking manner. Those rules, even though I strongly disagree with them for the most part, were something I was willing to abide by in order to be a part of this community.
The dilemma I now seem to face, is that these rules seem to be a tad more encompassing than I had originally thought, and also seem to expand and contract based solely on the whims of those who enforce them. I don't want any of you think I am being vague here, so I'll just point out one example - There is a post in the NSFW forum, in the boobies thread, showing a woman with her mouth open and he hands held out. I guess she is making a heart with her hands but that's not what I nor most people would see when looking at that image. It appears as though the model in question is fellating the invisible man. Someone apparently mentioned this obvious take on the photo and was quickly reprimanded.
It isn't about making a comment it is how a comment is presented. In this case the comment was: "Is it wrong that I want to just stuff something in her mouth?" The Boobies thread has been there better or worse for people to post pictures of attractive women. PsionicFox is a long time member of this community, and he knows better. He also agreed with removing his comment. While yes, ha ha funny, we are already pushing it for the women on the site by having that thread, but to keep it civil we keep the dick in the pants when it comes to how the comments fly at the pictures. We balanced it out with a moobies thread for the women to use as well. No one was reprimanded.
This was in a thread with numerous pictures of naked women, most in fact, posted by the GM of this guild. So...what exactly am I supposed to take away from this ?
(Well first the Boobies thread has nothing to do with me being the GM, Admin, Or any other title. But you could take away that I like Boobies or the female form? I am a high fashion photographer after all.)That you can look at these naked women, but don't dare think of them in a sexual manner whilst doing so?
If you cannot keep your comments PC while enjoying a boobie thread, then yes there will be issues. I think something people often miss when they come here is the idea that, sure we have some rules, we have some strange different approaches to things, but if they don't work for you, we are not asking you to act out of your comfort zone. We expect you to gauge your happiness being here just as much as we gauge you when you apply. We don't want to see you only having two options left(as you say below). And we are more than happy to talk to you to clear up an misconceptions you may have as well, so you don't have to make any harsh judgement based off loose information if we fucked it up somewhere along the line. We can be wrong too.
You can think whatever you want about them, but don't you dare talk about it with anyone? In the grand scheme of things, this doesn't seem like a big deal, I get it. But now in the back of the person's mind, and anyone who bore witness, was the thought that "Oh shit, I better not mention anything like that again.".
Personally, when you add that to already somewhat hazy list of things I can't say or do in this community,
Please clear this up. As we have a very clear list of what is OK and NOT OK on this site. Shit we even have a no holds bar place for people to speak their minds on ANY topic with our rants section. So please feel free to contact any moderator or myself or post here if you wish about what you are hazy on.
I'm left with two options -
1.) Keep to myself for the most part, and hope to never incur the wrath of the morality police.
I really am wondering here... is it so bad to ask that people respect one another and keep things PC? This is EXACTLY what this article is about. Because this is a Gaming Community, people think we can just toss caution to the wind and do whatever. This would be true if everyone was built out of the same mold and never no matter how much prodding EVER got upset. But the problem is, even the thickest skinned people will break eventually. "Troll mode" turns on quickly if not explained.This is not the purpose of AltTabMe, the purpose of this site is to have a place where people look forward to coming to, not worrying about who they will have to ignore, avoid, or cringe at someone's comments.
or
2.) Censor myself and my true feelings whenever I communicate with others, and end up a self-loathing robot.
Please tell me how we don't allow people to speak their mind as long as it is presented in a mature manner? Shit ask Keleynal about some of the topics he has put forward and how even being a minority opinion with most of the topics, he still has a voice, and never feels censored.
In the end, what I think about any of this really doesn't matter. I'm not an officer or GM, and I never want to be.
I just need to clear this up: AltTabMe is the community, TAB is the guild. There are moderators for the site. Then there are officers for the guild. Two different beasts in terms of responsibilities. You may see more action from the Officers right now because of all the Wildstar Hype and excitement. But we have other mods like Jia and ThatOneGuy that have input into what goes on as well.
I don't envision myself ever breaking these rules, but I do find myself becoming paranoid about saying anything because of them. I completely sympathize with the point of view put forth it the original post. And I concede that it's entirely up to you what this community stands for.
It is not just up to me, it is up to whole of us Mods. We have time and time again told you all that we will not be treating this community or our leadership like the normal Hierarchy. But obviously we are seen more and have more responsibilities: http://alttabme.com/forum/index.php?threads/who-are-your-community-leaders.3477/
I would just caution against coming off close-minded and preachy about this, or any other topic for that matter.
This site is a place where we can all debate and talk about things we are passionate about. To assume I am preaching or not even the smallest bit movable in my ideas is just as closed-minded to me as me saying it to you. I am very passionate about what I say/do on this site. Of course. I write articles that are not always going to be flowers and roses. I will push boundaries and have strong opinions. To think I am unapproachable before approaching me is beyond me, if anything I encouraged everyone to join in on topics like these.
Championing tolerance and understanding is one thing, but mandating your version of it, and surrounding yourself with like-minded sycophants is another thing entirely.
If I was seeking the attention and admiration of everyone around me, I would not have a team of Mods who all have different views so we can all contribute to fair mediums, and I would not open myself up to conversations or debates like the rants I have posted, the articles I have written, or the diverse nature of the people who are currently members of this community. I don't think anyone on this site kisses my ass actually. I think it is quite the opposite 
But at the end of the day I would hope they would be less scared of "my wrath" and more willing to talk to me if they had issues. Never have I banned or kicked ANYONE without weeks of discussion before hand, multiple points of view from mods and officers, chats with the person themselves. People often think I will sacrifice a lot of things to grow this site, when in turn I have worked very hard with the Mods and Officers to make sure this site grows on its own and with a very self moderated process to stop us from over expanding and keeping us close knit and understanding of one another(as that takes time to understand everyone's way of talking inflections, etc especially through text) rather than a sea of names.
Again, totally your prerogative - but systemically eliminating any dissenting views and immediately disregarding any opinions that run contrary to your own views is a recipe for continued ignorance and stunted personal growth.
This is getting a bit personal here with "Stunted Personal Growth"... come on now? Really? If I was eliminating any dissenting views, do you think I would allow rants on Christianity and the opposite view of Homosexuals after a post like this?
TL;DR version : The tone of the piece combined with the fact that you are yourself, not homosexual, ends up seeming like a self-aggrandizing attempt to martyr yourself to a cause you are not a part of.
The problem here is that you are completely wrong is your assumption that I am not a part of this because I am not a homosexual. I am a gamer. And this is my culture as well as it is a homosexual gamers, as well as it is a black gamers, as is an Indian gamers. A homosexual is not the only person who can stick up for a homosexual. A human can stick up for any other human they wish to.
I've heard gay people tell gay jokes. I've heard black people tell black jokes. I've seen an Indian child prank his mom by telling her he accidentally ate a whole BigMac. Words only have power if you give them power.
If words had no power, then anything I had said prior, would not have invoked this post nor these opinions:
1.) Keep to myself for the most part, and hope to never incur the wrath of the morality police.
2.) Censor myself and my true feelings whenever I communicate with others, and end up a self-loathing robot.
