I find myself having to hold back on what I say, out of respect. Whether it be my limitless supply of NSFW, racist or jokes that maybe offensive. I also am one who has used the gay or retard term loosely but I don't mean to offend. I'm trying to remember to not say those things, as I understand why. So I see both sides, some don't want to be censored. I don't have anything deep to add, just thought I'd put it out there that I may make a mistake down the road but I have been trying to be aware of what I say.
The point is we have all slipped up and used words like that, even Tristan. For the most part though we have changed as gamers and stay away from those words. Thats the overall point here with the post and the site. We should change, we can change, and we should at least make others more aware of what they say, how they use said words, and who is on the receiving end imo.
I find myself having to hold back on what I say, out of respect. Whether it be my limitless supply of NSFW, racist or jokes that maybe offensive. I also am one who has used the gay or retard term loosely but I don't mean to offend. I'm trying to remember to not say those things, as I understand why. So I see both sides, some don't want to be censored. I don't have anything deep to add, just thought I'd put it out there that I may make a mistake down the road but I have been trying to be aware of what I say.
We will NEVER and have NEVER punished anyone for trying. We understand that this is NOT something everyone is used to. We understand the gaming culture and what it has programmed into our brains. I mean the OP itself is a prime example of it. Shit I end up stepping all over myself all too often as well. What we do understand though is when we fuck up, we take responsibility for it and we try our damnest to not do it again; not because we are afraid of being booted, but because we believe in the ideals behind it. And believe in it for many reasons such as
Korova said:
And so, to the original topic: the subset of people called 'gamers' are beings constructed by laws and themes of the larger, external pressures of a global society. As the populous has more information at its disposal to refine words and phrases, so to have we (society) formed conclusions. As long as the 'gaming' subculture resists the accepted norm (here, the negative connotation of particular words and phrases), we as 'gamers' or 'pro gamers' will never be fully accepted as 'equal' or legitimate - by which I mean, accepted as anything more than a bunch of ego maniacal, ill-informed free-radicals of an otherwise homogeneous, homeostatic and harmonious system.
The culture as a whole discourages the use of words that have been discussed here, especially if you want to have any kind of professional career. You can insist that those words don't insult you and shouldn't insult anyone else until you are blue in the face, but that won't stop you from being passed over for promotion, fired, or even sued in court. I've been learning a lot abut this in my company's management training program. What I think about what a word means doesn't matter; it only matters what the person hearing it feels about it.
I think that should extend everywhere. Not just to avoid getting sued or missing opportunities, but because I think we should genuinely care about each other. If everyone put other's feelings first, we'd avoid a lot of problems. Maybe even all of them.
But as well, this isn't just an article about how you need to "censor yourself on AltTabMe"(shit that is actually just a bi product), this is about an issue with how gaming culture has presented itself for the last number of years and how it continues to refuse to grow up, even as it gets integrated into the real world as an acceptable and amazing form of entertainment more and more. An article we have been wanting to get out there for this community for quite some time.
In the end, the changes we make have nothing to do with anyone but ourselves. Either we want to do it or we don't. Depending on what we choose, over the course of time shapes what others around us do as well. Cause and Effect, or as I like to say Cause's' and Effect's' as there is never just ONE outcome.
I actually don't even curse at all (the stereotypical cuss words--I even edited my application post to take out the curse word that's included by default), for similar reasons described above. I feel that I can adequately express myself without resorting to words that some people might find offensive. Not that I never offend people... I'd just prefer that my offending be because of the content of what I actually said and not because I happened to use a word that offends.
Interesting topic, but so broad.. I've avoided using terms like gay since I was pretty young because I decided at that point that I didn't want to use the term in a derogatory way, given what's implied if you're gay (I'm not FYI, this is just my perspective).
So, having said that, most people I have known (not all), have often used the term in a negative light. Many of these people are fantastic, and in making an effort to understand them I recognize they do not mean harm by it, and I make the effort to understand them on that level. Some people I've known that use it are complete dick-bags.
My personal perspective? I simply don't use it because I don't want to use that term in a negative way. I do understand though that other people use it, while being completely supportive of others who are homosexual. That's me though, my views.
In terms of the guild, it's refreshing to see a stance against it, but are we being consistent if that's a stance we take? (just a general question to provoke thought)
It's tough, there is a huge range of sensitivity in a population, but we do have a responsibility to others. I don't think enough people take that seriously. The issue with the use of "gay" is not an issue that just gamers have, it's an issue with culture. It happens as much in society as it does in gaming (within a certain age range), there are lots of sports fan that share that negative stereotype.
And we should be careful of stigmatizing in the opposite direction too, many people don't put the same value on language and lack the same sensitivity. The trick is getting to know people, and hopefully that effort is reciprocated, so they recognize when they might offend someone. Isn't that a huge part of this? Everyone just making the effort to understand each other? We're all pretty different.. I feel a song coming on! /wrists (..hopefully that wasn't offensive? ha.. er)
First of all HOLY FUCK Korova! I am very well read, and I had to slow way the fuck down reading that to make sure I got what you were saying. I do agree with you though. We are complex and this discussion is complex. The gaming world in the past was left on its own like the wild west and something childish and unprofessional has festered. Only recently have entities started to pull back and police themselves to be more in line with a professional society.
Speaking to the topic:
I see it this way. Those of us in charge of the Community/Subsequent Guilds have a kind of overreaching concept on how we want to have the members of the community treat each other: Discussion and debate are encouraged, but personal attacks will be dealt with swiftly.The comfort and enjoyment of the people here matter.
That is an easy line not to cross for most people when it comes to insulting peoples moms, coming after them for race, harassing the females in voice chat, game, or text. People for the most part understand those behaviors are over the line and that we try to enforce that line. What is not as obvious to most people as being over the line is the use of gay, r_ped or some of the other things discussed in the OP, simply because in the past, in other places that wasn't held up to the standard of what should or should not be said on the internet.
We are trying here to change that opinion. To try to not use words that have become synonyms for "bad" when what those words really are, are descriptors for a class or group. Gay and retard are probably the most prominent examples of this.
I challenge you to come up with a descriptor word for yourself that you identify with. A word that, while it doesn't encompass the whole of who you are, you can easily fit into that group if someone said hey look over there, there is a group of ________
Now plug that descriptor into this sentence:
Oh man, did you see how much that guy sucked, he's so _______! I can't believe that _______ is still breathing behind his computer.
I have a hard time believing that you don't feel at least a bit attacked and uncomfortable from that. Those feelings are what we are trying to eliminate.
We have places here where there are stricter policies enforced.
The chat box is viewable by everyone who visits the site so we try to keep that as civil and safe as possible.
The rest of the forums are a bit more lenient, because someone has to click on a forum or thread and make a choice to go there. Since they are still pretty well accessible to all we still police them to make sure they don't go too far.
The NSFW forums and threads have even more openness and allowances for things that in other situations can be considered over the line. We place more warnings there so people can have a good idea of what they are getting into before they go. Because of this, we mods/officers have to really keep a sharp eye out for things that just go too far even there.
Finally we have the rants section. Rants are open to all kinds of criticism and heated discussion. That area has the fewest rules on the site. You can't even post there if you haven't acknowledged you have read the rant section rules. You can attack anything a person says in the rants section, just not the person themselves.
Because of our overall rules and the different sections allowances, we seem to have a place where almost anyone can find a comfortable place to interact in. I really think that is possible because of the idea we try to enforce about not using those words and others. It sets a baseline that people understand and choose to play within.
I see a lot of arguments along the lines of "its not a big deal cause its the norm". Well if its not that big a deal, and its generally accepted that using those terms are bad form, then why is it so important to keep using them?
The argument of censorship and the first amendment has been brought up. I fully believe in the 1st amendment and the right for the worst person on earth to be able to say the worst things possible. However I also believe in the right of a group to self regulate and remove from that group those who choose not to adhere to the polices set down by it. For us, we just want to make this community a place that ups the bar a little bit from what people expect from the internet.
We will not censor or remove someone without making our ideals clear, trying to explain, and trying to work out our differences.
My argument is that giving up using those terms gains you a place to be in that is much less hostile all around, even if the words themselves don't bother you. I think Tr1age's point is: why not try to foster that across the internet? Not an easy fight, but one worth fighting.
Finally:
For me personally, this comes down to a practical issue more than a philosophical issue. No matter what I feel about how certain words should be allowed to be used or not, the fact that we ask people not to promote things that are hostile to others, makes this community a better place to be in. One where you should feel that its nicer and safer than other places on the internet. At least that is what I am trying to make AltTabMe.
To be honest I still do not see a larger number of insults, trolling in gaming than any other form of communication. In reality I think gaming is actually alot more innocent than other forms of human interaction (sports being the ones with the most verbal violence imho, whole stadiums singing racial slurs, insults etc. etc.). Also in gaming you tend to insult the nickname/avatar not the actual person behind the screen, like seriously most people who troll and act tough on the pc end up being cute little buggers IRL (they gotta feel tough somewhere in their lives -brucecry-)
Furthermore, I strongly believe that insults of any sort in gaming and other activities are automatic visceral reactions comming from our animalistic nature (abit like roaring to scare/intimidate for lions), the main difference for us humans being that we generally have more self control and therefore we should be able to avoid offending another person's dignity. Therefore, I don't think there is a real solution, self-control is REALLY HARD to teach. Also at a cultural level as I've said before, we (italians) do not put insults in different tier lists, because at the end of the day being "hurt by words" is totally subjective, as a person can definately be offended by the word "r_pe" another might just as well be offended by the word "midget", "holy cow" etc. etc. Like I've never heard people condemning phrases like "oh my fucking god" when such phrases are pretty much blasphemous and potentially offend 5-6 billion people out of the 7 present on planet earth (and no I don't care about that insult either but it's a good example of the hipocracy of moralism imho).
On gaming being recognized as serious, LCS is NOT doing a good job at that, firstly because instead of building its own "IP", its moving way too much on the 'lets make our game and our players as similar as possible to those of other sports', for instance the videos they showed about Vileroze's wife and of ZyonSpartan's teacher calling him with his ingame tag were soooooo cringe worthy if I wasn't a gamer myself I would've laughed my ass off. I really think gaming should try to grow naturally as a sport, and if it doesn't get big it can still work, just like pro bowling or pro snooker exists with small numbers of viewers, I really can't understand why Riot needs to mainstream their events that much (ok yes money)...
I can't be arsed responding at length, but since someone used me as an example, I'll bring it up.
I censor myself a lot in normal life. The things I think should rarely be heard by another person. I have a pretty dirty mind. Foolishly, I made a wildly inappropriate comment on the boobie thread. Tr1age was around, saw the post, quickly removed it, and told me 'not cool!'
Almost as soon as I'd written it, I felt like a jerk. I don't like feeling like a jerk. So I totally backed Tr1age's comment and response. I even apologised. We got on with our lives. End of story.
To be honest I still do not see a larger number of insults, trolling in gaming than any other form of communication. In reality I think gaming is actually alot more innocent than other forms of human interaction (sports being the ones with the most verbal violence imho, whole stadiums singing racial slurs, insults etc. etc.). Also in gaming you tend to insult the nickname/avatar not the actual person behind the screen, like seriously most people who troll and act tough on the pc end up being cute little buggers IRL (they gotta feel tough somewhere in their lives -brucecry-)
Furthermore, I strongly believe that insults of any sort in gaming and other activities are automatic visceral reactions comming from our animalistic nature (abit like roaring to scare/intimidate for lions), the main difference for us humans being that we generally have more self control and therefore we should be able to avoid offending another person's dignity. Therefore, I don't think there is a real solution, self-control is REALLY HARD to teach. Also at a cultural level as I've said before, we (italians) do not put insults in different tier lists, because at the end of the day being "hurt by words" is totally subjective, as a person can definately be offended by the word "r4pe" another might just as well be offended by the word "midget", "holy cow" etc. etc. Like I've never heard people condemning phrases like "oh my fucking god" when such phrases are pretty much blasphemous and potentially offend 5-6 billion people out of the 7 present on planet earth (and no I don't care about that insult either but it's a good example of the hipocracy of moralism imho).
On gaming being recognized as serious, LCS is NOT doing a good job at that, firstly because instead of building its own "IP", its moving way too much on the 'lets make our game and our players as similar as possible to those of other sports', for instance the videos they showed about Vileroze's wife and of ZyonSpartan's teacher calling him with his ingame tag were soooooo cringe worthy if I wasn't a gamer myself I would've laughed my ass off. I really think gaming should try to grow naturally as a sport, and if it doesn't get big it can still work, just like pro bowling or pro snooker exists with small numbers of viewers, I really can't understand why Riot needs to mainstream their events that much (ok yes money)...
I empathize with your 'conclusion' regarding a solution to 'self control' (which can be discussed further as symptoms of 'free will' (or lack thereof)), as it's assimilated-innate in our condition as a human being. Time and time again I've wondered what could be done to ameliorate and project our being into more altruistic behavior - or even if it (self regulation symptom of modern human condition) had an answer at all. At the moment, whatever expedited solution I can conceive involves TIME and EDUCATION. By default, then, I've come to a more broad conclusion that even without a hard 'interference' or injecting a verifiable solution into our (society's) social organism, AND assuming that we don't destroy ourselves first, then we will begin empathizing at the communal level.
How did I arrive at this conclusion?
Information and its most commonly used medium (in 1st world & precipice) countries, the internet, has provided the masses a methodology to produce general truths for themselves at a much quicker rate than what was available in the post industrial, informational 'dark ages'. We're also able to communicate with people from all over the world. Thus our capacity to filter general or broad norms, is faster and more efficient. As I had mentioned in my post, there is an unfortunate symptom - the resistance of global social norms - which I should stress are still somewhat in early development. The forms of resistance may be toxic or corrupted 'half-truths', misdirection or subterfuge - but it is with the boons of the world wide web that we (as individuals and communities) can determine what makes life better and what makes it worse - even without knowing the 'purpose' of life!
You've also pointed out the moral relativity of certain words and phrases. This is certainly true - imagine what I might feel like if someone *said* "Quit being such a purple shoe discus, you laughin' lemon"...you see, there is some kind of 'boundary' in the platonic realms of morality (however flux it may be). That's just complete non sense and we can, with current norms developed by reasonable dissent, disregard it as such. However, the logic behind our social impetus and well being has determined (approximately and temporarily) that there ARE negative, 'hateful' words - and they are bad, because of numerous reasons - one of which is that it is a distraction from more pressing issues of global welfare and secondly because it /hurts/ another person.
There's an aspect of game theory that's been used in economics and I'm sure some will immediately notice this as a pull from the movie "A Beautiful Mind" - that in order for the group to benefit, the individual and the group must benefit (IE forms of cooperation).
One thing that presses me at the moment is the development and methodology of reasonable dissent. It's really complicated so I won't delve into it, but if any of you would like, feel free to. Oh, and I generally agree with your comment about the LCS - they could do *so* much better and honestly I think they're improving...just very slowly. Again, I think Riot has talented individuals involved in their game from many professional fields (psychology, neuroscience and behavior, statistics and analysis, etc) - it just seems like they could back away from the childishness that we see in 'common' games and forums like /r/leagueoflegends and the general forums on the main site. I really think there would be a benefit at looking at other companies in similar fields of entertainment - like WotC/DCI - they've done a remarkable job with the game and organizing it. KESPA is another to look at for some guidance as to how to more properly utilize a field of participants who are otherwise 'just kind of nerdy or awkward' and groom it without the backwash of bickering children to forefront it all.
It is really delightful to read through all those posts. I have been at a state in my life where I thought that words are meaningless. I was and maybe still am, really pissed off when it comes to people who just talk about problems but do nothing about it. This is the reason why I became a scientist. I thought talking about making peoples life better is not going to make peoples life better.
But now here we have a topic about how words that are being said by children/adults on the internet influence you or people you know. And influence can always be positive or negative.
On the topic. I never really experienced people insult me or even my avatar. This could be because of 2 reasons.
1. I don´t like to play PvP in general.
I´d rather work together with somebody to do something than to fight him, just to feel better/prove myself.
2. German online interaction.
I´ve talked with my german friends, they do more PvP than I do, about this, and they also say if they play games on German servers they rarely hear/see insults, and even if they see them it´s more directed to a person. (As$hole only targets one person as opposed to gay which targets everybody who is homosexual)
Reasonable thinking people don´t need insults. But if you cannot think reasonable this is your only chance to state your point.
Just want to throw this is about sensitivity of people:
It was a comment on one of the Videos of Heita (the guy who plays vegetable instruments). Somebody wrote "Holy shit, this is amazing!" and there was a comment after that stating that you should not use this filthy word. I still don´t know what to make out of this.
Edith says: This post came after I finished posting mine.
You've highlighted some interesting points: Information and its most commonly used medium (in 1st world & precipice) countries, the internet, has provided the masses a methodology to produce general truths for themselves at a much quicker rate than what was available in the post industrial, informational 'dark ages'.
Also the internet gave people the option to talk about stuff even though there is only a small group who supports this. This can be good and bad. I say bad because of for example Pedophiles. Now let´s say in every country is 1 Pedophile. They never get to know each other because of the difference of places they live in. But with the Internet he can find other people from all over the world who are also pedophiles quite easily. And then he sees:"Oh other people are doing this too, so it must be right".
I´ve just talked with the gamers from my institute. The 2 Indian guys that are gamers say that there are a lot of insults flying around on indian servers, but they are more targeted on one person. The Korean guy states that "Your Mother" insults are on the rise right now, but insults comparing them with animals are still most often.
The Japanese guy has not experienced much insults so far.
So Insults like gay and fag could really be a "english" thing.
I´ve just talked with the gamers from my institute. The 2 Indian guys that are gamers say that there are a lot of insults flying around on indian servers, but they are more targeted on one person. The Korean guy states that "Your Mother" insults are on the rise right now, but insults comparing them with animals are still most often.
The Japanese guy has not experienced much insults so far.
So Insults like gay and fag could really be a "english" thing.
Well culture is always a factor in the types of insults thrown at one an other.
I found a funny example of insults when I lived in Serbia. There, it is quite common to add to the general "I fu*ked your mum" insults many other combinations such as:
"I f*cked your horse" and "I fu*ked your monkey", now I don't know what the history of those insults are but I laughed my ass off when they told me what they meant XD.
On the Italian front it is very common to insult people by calling them "gipsies" because of the very negative image they have in our country (illegal children trafficking, r*pe, robbery, organ trafficking, and petty theft), it's just embedded in our language to call someone we dislike a "zingaro". Similarly if someone doesn't like to spend/loan money we still have the TERRIBLE habit of calling them "jews" (I am personally very ashamed of this but it's just so embedded in our culture, approx since the fall of the Temple of Jerusalem in 70AD that people just find it normal and acceptable.)
Hopefully I understand what you're getting at lol and if so I agree, the kind of behavior you're talking about ruins healthy debates and discussion. It's annoys me when I'm trying to point something out, but instead of challenging me they just resort to insults. Not sure what drives people to act this way, but my guesses are:
1) They forget there is another person on the other end.
2) They can get away with It when sitting behind a computer.
3) Some people feel cool or superior when they insult people about stuff (WoW forums)
I agree with a lot of the things that Fen said. I see this community as one that is still forming its identity and isn't firmly established yet. Conversations like this are great for figuring out where our place is the larger community and what we will do to stand out and be unique.
I too do not care for the boobies thread. Name another vibrant and respected gaming site that also hosts porn. I think that section is going to hold our community back. From what I see here and in the community rules, it seems that the leadership wants to attract members with a higher level of maturity than is found in "have a pulse? join us!" style guilds and communities. Those types of people are exactly the ones that the boobies thread could repel. If that thread is removed, I don't think we will have feedback from visitors saying "Great site, but where's the porn?" The internet is full of porn. No one will be deprived if we don't host it here.
Obviously, I've never said anything about the thread before because I personally am comfortable with just ignoring its existence. I'm sharing this now because it seems like there's a desire here for Alttabme to be in a higher class of communities. We can't have it both ways. We'd either end up being overrun with "Gaymers" as growth increases exponentially, or we'd be left with a very small group consisting of the few people that are able to have such immaturity and maturity coexist.
I'm not suggesting that the removal of the boobie thread alone would somehow magically make this site more mature and legitimate overnight. Clear rules, moderating of threads, and careful control of "Gaymer" behavior would have to take place. That creates a lot of work for the leadership and would also will exclude a large portion of the gaming community that want to express themselves in ways that this community doesn't find acceptable.
I would like to see this community fully commit to that direction. As for me, I will remain here for as long as you will have me, and I find the environment tolerable. All I ask is for clear direction and as much ambiguity removed as possible.
Keleynal I'm going to collect my thoughts on that one for a bit.
I will say one thing though. We are a much different site than we were over a year ago. We also had a lot less ideas of where we really wanted to go at that time. In the process of restructuring, we've also kept things from before that process. And by no means are we perfect, and it's good to have these thoughts be expressed, because let's be honest. Sometimes we don't realize our errors until WELL after they've happened.
Keleynal I'm going to collect my thoughts on that one for a bit.
I will say one thing though. We are a much different site than we were over a year ago. We also had a lot less ideas of where we really wanted to go at that time. In the process of restructuring, we've also kept things from before that process. And by no means are we perfect, and it's good to have these thoughts be expressed, because let's be honest. Sometimes we don't realize our errors until WELL after they've happened.
I'm in total agreement there. This site has had DRASTIC improvements since I joined last October. I came here looking for a casual GW2 guild, and I found instead a community that outlasts release dates. I will do whatever I can to make this community as awesome as possible, because it's a cause that I believe in.
I'm in total agreement there. This site has had DRASTIC improvements since I joined last October. I came here looking for a casual GW2 guild, and I found instead a community that outlasts release dates. I will do whatever I can to make this community as awesome as possible, because it's a cause that I believe in.
I definitely notice this, and full heartedly appreciate that sentiment too.
Sidenote - We've always had a bit of a motto of Handle Yo' Shit. Somewhere along the lines, I think the meaning was lost a little bit. The original meaning was that if there is ever an issue of anything on the site, it should be voiced in some manner, preferably in a civil and appropriate tone. And then things can get handled, and everyone will feel better afterwards. I think one of the reasons we never even considered removing the boobies thread is because we didn't know it offended anyone (just as an example). In hindsight, that's a pretty silly thing to think that it wouldn't, but we also would hope that if it did, it would be brought to our attention. A year ago, that was our most active thread by just about every member. It was voiced "What about for the women?", and was suggested we make the Moobies thread. And we did! I guess at the time that was our way of making it "fair"? But again, that was a year+ ago. I'm not sure if that would be the same decision we'd make today.
Edit: I've tangent-ed this thread enough. Let's get back to the original post discussion And as always, respect comes first. <3
Just in case something is being attributed to me incorrectly let me be perfectly clear! I do not dislike the boobies thread. It is absolutely fine. Look at and post tits all day long, I don't care. I was fine with PF's comment that was removed. I'd be fine with worse. I don't visit the thread much only because looking at naked women doesn't do it for me and if it did I'd like em with a few more curves.
If that thread is removed, I don't think we will have feedback from visitors saying "Great site, but where's the porn?" The internet is full of porn. No one will be deprived if we don't host it here.
Just in case something is being attributed to me in correctly let me be perfectly clear! I do not dislike the boobies thread. It is absolutely fine. Look at and post tits all day long, I don't care. I was fine with PF's comment that was removed. I'd be fine with worse. I don't visit the thread much only because looking at naked women doesn't do it for me and if it did I'd like em with a few more curves.
I guess I could agree with Keyleynal on one point:
But...
I'm calling for less rules, not more.
All are entitled to their opinion but that isn't mine.
If there is a way to hold people accountable to a consistent standard without rules, or if there is somehow a way to get people to behave properly without a set standard, I think we'd all be for it. We all wish we could trust people to "Handle yo' shit" and act like adults. Unfortunately, without clear guidance people tend to sink to the lowest possible level.
As long as threads are handled in a mature and non-insulting manner I don't see why they can't be had (in reference to the boobies thread), although I realize along the way there will be extremes on that as well.
Now back to the OP topic.
The majority of my friends that I hang out with in the past 2 years are homosexual. To me, they make more jokes about each other than heterosexuals could in a day. I am frequently on the topic of straight jokes and all such manner of gay jokes as well.
That being said, I do watch my mouth - although more-so when I was first meeting my new found friends - with these types of words. I feel a lot more comfortable around them now to be able to use jokes with them as I am able to gauge much more on how each individual will react AND how far you can take one. This also tends to leak into my jabs at friends in other areas as well now, dependant on the situation and who I am dealing with.
So to the point about gaming and gaming culture - what words would you/could you use when you are frustrated in a game? From my point of view, when you are frustrated, you want to insult or blow off steam at the mechanic or avatar that showed you up. The way this comes off, someone will always end up being offended in some way, shape, or form no matter what words are used. You can't make someone be not mad.
So why are these certain words used is the real question. To me, I think it's because when we were younger, these were acceptable words from our parents times. While we did not necessarily know the proper meaning at the time, we did use them and formed those habits - possibly as a form of gaining acceptance from whomever. Habits can be broken and as we grow older we do break out of them, especially ones that we are not able to use in our professional lives outside of our gaming. I believe that most of the people that do use these in a malicious way are much younger and in that area where we were once upon a time, but have a lot larger space to use them in especially as gaming grows. As the population grows, the more prevalent it may seem to be, although it may not be in fact.
As for definitions of some of these words (and to take a different view of this), they can change. Doesn't "fag", in Britain, mean the butt of a cigarette? That changed, at least on its way to North America. Why not in the video game space?
Edit: Also the same goes for "Mother Fucker", that is a similar derogatory term except on the heterosexual side of things, yet this receives no attention. Good luck removing this term from peoples vocabulary.
(and no I don't care about that insult either but it's a good example of the hipocracy of moralism imho).