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The 'Gay'mer

Just skimmed through the whole thing... and you know what? I pretty glad to be part of this community.
I've never had to deal with that kind of behavior except for some REALLY racist kid in wow that I had to missfortune to come across in a pug, stopped tanking, sat down, lol'ed and started writing a report. He was the healer tho... the DPS were all in agreement with me... aaaaanyway tangent...
Even though I am a big rough dude, sometimes you just had a bad day, week or month and your very trusty and sturdy emotional armor has cracks and some of that filth cam seethe through and reach you to ruin what little fun you were trying to have for at least an hour or two before going to bed.
I'm very thankful for this group of people I can game with and never have to deal with all that rage and hate. -brucecry-
 
I, personally, am a female bisexual gamer. I've been a gamer since I was able to read, go ask my older brother when that was because I can't even remember what age I was back then, but it was in kindergarten. Whenever some abuse nonsense pops up in a public chat I step in, try to argue a bit, block them if it's too stupid, but at least I try to defend some innocent people. Hopefully innocent. I never was on the receiving end of the usual "you're probably fat like all gamer girls" or "you slut" or anything of the like. Why? No clue. Maybe because my boyfriend then husband was always with me and they couldn't claim I was only pretending to like games to get into boys' pants (that really is a line that comes around a lot). Maybe because I always play on roleplaying serves, which, yes, includes full on roleplaying raiding and for whatever reason older or at least more open minded players in general. Maybe because three things (female and gamer and bi) is too much for some people? No idea. My problem with the whole thing is that I know male bisexual gamers or gay gamers and they get so much hate for no reason. No one bothers having them in the raid, doing their job just fine, but as soon as someone outed himself and then something goes wrong it's because he's gay. Try explain to me why, just try. On one servers (pretty hardcore PVE we jumped on for a couple of months) it was so bad that the entire LGBT community had their own public channel and even guild just to get to play the game like everybody else minus the offensive idiotic attacks on their sexual orientation.

I will never stop defending people in public chats. Never. Nobody can hurt me through the screen. I can always just block them.

If I witness you calling anyone gay or a fag or a slut (sometimes even fat when it gets abusive) for no reason whatsoever, I report you and I don't care that most people think reporting doesn't do anything.
 
Angerina_ said:
I will never stop defending people in public chats. Never. Nobody can hurt me through the screen. I can always just block them.

If I witness you calling anyone gay or a fag or a slut (sometimes even fat when it gets abusive) for no reason whatsoever, I report you and I don't care that most people think reporting doesn't do anything.
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I like the spin here, while one can defend that saying something derogatory can't hurt you as it is "only words" the opposite can be applied to arguing against them.

I say the argument only needs to go so far until they feel like they are getting "attention". In real life it is much easier to talk someone off their pedestal, but through a game I never feed the crying baby if they keep crying. Ignoring is seriously the best way to make an asshole shut up, they get ADHD and go do something else.
 
tr1age said:
I like the spin here, while one can defend that saying something derogatory can't hurt you as it is "only words" the opposite can be applied to arguing against them.

I say the argument only needs to go so far until they feel like they are getting "attention". In real life it is much easier to talk someone off their pedestal, but through a game I never feed the crying baby if they keep crying. Ignoring is seriously the best way to make an asshole shut up, they get ADHD and go do something else.
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My nephew has ADHD and gets medication. It's no excuse for abusive behavior. Also it's said that ADHD gradually stops when you hit puberty. That would take a couple more years for him, so I can't really judge that. In most cases, when I see some offensive behavior in a chat, I jump in, show how stupid the statement was, wait for max three responses and most likely then block them. I don't whisper them, that only leads to very, very, very weird situations. I try to display to everyone that what these people say it plain stupid. In good cases others jump in and ridicule the offender. But, still, someone has to start to not just take it, imho.
 
Angerina_ said:
My nephew has ADHD and gets medication. It's no excuse for abusive behavior. Also it's said that ADHD gradually stops when you hit puberty. That would take a couple more years for him, so I can't really judge that. In most cases, when I see some offensive behavior in a chat, I jump in, show how stupid the statement was, wait for max three responses and most likely then block them. I don't whisper them, that only leads to very, very, very weird situations. I try to display to everyone that what these people say it plain stupid. In good cases others jump in and ridicule the offender. But, still, someone has to start to not just take it, imho.
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Whoa read into my words really t for t there. =P I was not labeling people with ADHD as being abusive... Also ADHD does not gradually stop when you hit puberty for people who really have it. There are some case studies that show it can decrease with age, but you don't stop having it. I also think that the medications for ADHD are often misdiagnosed and prescribed too loosely. Seen a lot of family members take a hit from that being misdiagnosed. Anyway ADHD aside haha.


I do not agree that ridiculing the offender is the right approach either. I honestly think a PM and maybe a public "that offends me can you calm it down" statement is all that is needed. I don't think I have ever met anyone online other than someone just looking to troll who will not at least listen if you have an issue with someone being said and you make it clear to them. That is why if you do keep feeding the fire they will just thrive. I also find this approach is much better than public shaming. People learn better from 1 on 1 in most cases. Although in the case of twitter the public shaming "trend" to get people to stop posting whatever they want without consequences is working out really well: http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/pos...t-obama-makes-thoughtful-statement-on-trayvon

Overall we can only be accountable for ourselves, what we say, and how we say it. That is the message here. To take your own stand, what YOU are comfortable for. And in time, that makes changes.
 
I wouldn't call Obama's comments thoughtful, and racist is too harsh also. I'll call them "thoughtless."

On topic, though, it's hard sometimes to make exceptions and accommodations for disabilities. You want to be reasonable, but there comes a point where it just can't continue, legitimate as the disability may be. Someone who has little to no control of their speech is best left with their mumble on mute.
 
Saw this today. Thought it pertained a little.

http://gamerfury.tumblr.com/

This is a bit on the more extreme side, but man. The world would be a bit better with out it if you ask me.

Edit: Noticed there was a next page at the bottom. sheesh.
 
Wouldn´t this be a topic for the podcast? I know it would not be related to Wildstar, but I still think that we need to raise awareness about this.
Also I´ve not seen many discussion about this.
Or maybe just a Video?
 
I would like to do a "where are they now?" piece in 10 or 20 years to see what happens to kids who spew this sort of rage at a young age and how they feel about the things they've said.
 
Meh the skype conversation on UO/LoL/GW2 was just funny trolling, the guy was probably on a bad day and got easily mad, their friends trolled him abit about it... I mean that happens with my friends all the time and in the evening we go out and drink a beer and laugh about the fight we had in the morning, you know typical male stuff.
Just to compare it with the famous video of the Onyxia wipe skype call (the "MOAR DOTS" video), the raid leader gets mad and shouts at people but its all in good spirit and related to the game, hardly anything to report or make a scruff about. I mean just look at sports, any one who has played any team sport knows that you might get in a fight with a team mate (even a physical altercation), yet the next day you probably make peace and be even better friends, it's just how things usually turn out.

On the matter of reporting people who use certain terms, for me it depends on the context, if some one says in LoL "goddamit that motherf***ing f*g is ganking my lane all day" I know he's just frustrated and I hardly feel the urge to punish him for it, yes he used wrong terms and he shouldn't have, but we are human beings and when we are mad we can say stupid things, however, if a guy is just raging on purpose to be a dick, then yes I report him cause he's ruining the gaming experience as well as being a douchebag towards others.

In regards to the kid thrown in jail, it's a scandal, one thing that makes me happy about living in Europe is that our legal systems are alot more coherent on the crime vs punishment topic. Also, I really see a trend in the U.S of over reaction, like some sh1t happens and immediately hardcore counter measures are taken just to show that something is being done.

I really think that these types of events, just like bullying, are very much part of human nature, some people are born with less self-control and are simply more subject to raging. In regards to the different "types of human character" I really like Plato's "Republic" as it really explains the different possible characteristics of humans and their "purpose" in society. I don't think there's a solution, yes the number can be decreased but a certain % of the population will always act like dicks towards others, just like murderers and robbers will never cease to exist. *onycryy:
 
You only hear about the crazy stuff in the legal system. Like the Kindergartner that takes a butter knife in their lunch to spread their peanut butter and gets expelled. I'd venture to guess that happens other times in other schools where the principal isn't a complete dunce, and they just quietly talk to the parents about it.

Obviously, the gaming community if FULL of ridiculous threats of violence. There's no way every one of those threatening tweets against the COD dev was tracked down and prosecuted. The kid that got arrested had a perfect storm of stupid, reactionary officials who wanted to look like they were doing their jobs and being tough on threats of school violence.

It's easy to generalize when stuff like this is reported, but these are isolated cases cherry picked among thousands.
 
Disprezzo said:
Meh the skype conversation on UO/LoL/GW2 was just funny trolling, the guy was probably on a bad day and got easily mad, their friends trolled him abit about it... I mean that happens with my friends all the time and in the evening we go out and drink a beer and laugh about the fight we had in the morning, you know typical male stuff.
Just to compare it with the famous video of the Onyxia wipe skype call (the "MOAR DOTS" video), the raid leader gets mad and shouts at people but its all in good spirit and related to the game, hardly anything to report or make a scruff about. I mean just look at sports, any one who has played any team sport knows that you might get in a fight with a team mate (even a physical altercation), yet the next day you probably make peace and be even better friends, it's just how things usually turn out.

On the matter of reporting people who use certain terms, for me it depends on the context, if some one says in LoL "goddamit that motherf***ing f*g is ganking my lane all day" I know he's just frustrated and I hardly feel the urge to punish him for it, yes he used wrong terms and he shouldn't have, but we are human beings and when we are mad we can say stupid things, however, if a guy is just raging on purpose to be a dick, then yes I report him cause he's ruining the gaming experience as well as being a douchebag towards others.
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I guess to me, I don't see the need to slip up like that. You often reference sports.. it might help you to understand I think ANYONE who gets physically or emotionally MAD over a sports game that THEY DID NOT PLAY themselves, and are watching on TV is even WORSE than or equivalent to a gamer raging over pixels. Yes those pixels mean a lot when time is invested, but it is STILL a game. So same goes for "friends" I don't want my friends to rage at me. Awareness is the key to not being an idiot. And if you ARE aware and still fuck up, so be it, forgiveness and all that crap, but I refuse to forgive before I see someone actually aware.

Disprezzo said:
In regards to the kid thrown in jail, it's a scandal, one thing that makes me happy about living in Europe is that our legal systems are alot more coherent on the crime vs punishment topic. Also, I really see a trend in the U.S of over reaction, like some sh1t happens and immediately hardcore counter measures are taken just to show that something is being done.

I really think that these types of events, just like bullying, are very much part of human nature, some people are born with less self-control and are simply more subject to raging. In regards to the different "types of human character" I really like Plato's "Republic" as it really explains the different possible characteristics of humans and their "purpose" in society. I don't think there's a solution, yes the number can be decreased but a certain % of the population will always act like dicks towards others, just like murderers and robbers will never cease to exist. *onycryy:
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I agree so much with you on the fact that over reactions are just as bad as the reactions that started this shit in the first place. Sigh...

I agree it IS part of human nature... my question is, why are we so content to "accept" human nature, and not at every chance and possible point we can get, work on improving ourselves. Star Trek. Great Example. No more currency, exploration, and betterment of oneself for the whole of the human race. This is what I want to see one day. Sure there are Klingons, but even they didn't rage as badly as kids today. But seriously that is MY Utopia.

It really is the "Social Worker" mentality versus the "Every Day Joe" mentality. One gets extremely fueled by the idea that things can be changed, and everyday Joe looks at the situation, realizes all the flaws in humans, the "nature of things", and how little can be done to change everyone, so they are more likely to just kinda sit on the sidelines and be content because they "get it". Put that Average Joe in a situation where it effects his life in a big way though, and you will see a huge switch to the other side of that fence. (LONG SENTENCE)

All I am saying is to take care of your own way of life in a positive way and that will spread to those you love and care about around you.
 
tr1age said:
I agree it IS part of human nature... my question is, why are we so content to "accept" human nature, and not at every chance and possible point we can get, work on improving ourselves. Star Trek. Great Example. No more currency, exploration, and betterment of oneself for the whole of the human race. This is what I want to see one day. Sure there are Klingons, but even they didn't rage as badly as kids today. But seriously that is MY Utopia.
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This is actually what I would also love to see. I hope that money will crash within the next 10-20 years. This is a crucial step, otherwise a currency free environment will never happen. I really liked the Zeitgeist Movie, even though I disagree whit all the conspiracy stuff inside. It shows a possible future that sadly never will happen if we just continue on watching stupid TV shows and hope that our government / companies know what is right for us.
On the other hand, some many things that Star Trek had in the movie, are now real. Let´s hope for the best.
 
tr1age said:
I guess to me, I don't see the need to slip up like that. You often reference sports.. it might help you to understand I think ANYONE who gets physically or emotionally MAD over a sports game that THEY DID NOT PLAY themselves, and are watching on TV is even WORSE than or equivalent to a gamer raging over pixels. Yes those pixels mean a lot when time is invested, but it is STILL a game. So same goes for "friends" I don't want my friends to rage at me. Awareness is the key to not being an idiot. And if you ARE aware and still fuck up, so be it, forgiveness and all that crap, but I refuse to forgive before I see someone actually aware.
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I am talking about "playing" sports, not "watching sports", just like I am talking about playing games and not watching games. In regards to games just being pixels and being "just" a game, I don't really agree, the entity of the hobby you are invested in is irrelevant, only time matters. I don't think modelling or drawing is in any way more important than gaming just because you can actually touch the result, time is what makes things important.

In any case, anything you put time, effort and passion in can justify raging, if you are football fan and you go to the stadium to watch your team every sunday, whether it's freezing cold or really hot, you will get mad at opposing fans when the jest you, you will get mad at your players when they play like shit, and yes sometimes you will even end up fighting for your team. Passion and time investment is what makes things important, but this is a European cultural thing you might not comprehend it (this is in regards to sport at least, "football factory" the film explains it pretty well [way exaggerated for my case because its about mad hoolingans but the idea is there]).

In regards to having friends raging at you or anyone, no one wants it obviously, but it will happen because you are human and you or your friends will make mistakes, and sometimes the person you get into a fight with isn't even aware of what they did wrong, but you forgive'em anyway cause you might dislike that part of their personality but if they are good friends you'll enjoy all of their other characteristics.

That's my more "emotional" and less rational opinion on the matter.

"I agree it IS part of human nature... my question is, why are we so content to "accept" human nature, and not at every chance and possible point we can get, work on improving ourselves. Star Trek. Great Example. No more currency, exploration, and betterment of oneself for the whole of the human race. This is what I want to see one day. Sure there are Klingons, but even they didn't rage as badly as kids today. But seriously that is MY Utopia."
(dont know how to quote same person twice)

The answer to why I am content to accept this aspect of human nature is simple: There is no good if there is no evil. The world is ballanced on these two axis just like in any good science fiction novel :).
Improving ourself is always right and just, however imposing on someone "your" idea of "righteousness" isn't IMHO, nonetheless thinking about Utopias is normal, humans have done so since the beginning of time, I am a cynical bastard so I find it futile.

In regards to the "no currency" system: No disrespect about your opinions, but Lads you do realize that that is the system that we used to have and it worked like sh1t? That's why some one invented coins lol, and no, before you start, there were no huge "evil" corporations back then that wanted to smash the proletariat!
I'd try to think about a different system, however i'd never want a barter system, as it is just about as dumb as proposing anarchy IMHO. I mean the barter system implies that no scammers are around, people actually are experts in all trades, and no one has any intention of gaining wealth (to avoid chaos). I'd like to see some one who has only grown salad all his life go and barter 500kg of lettuce for a gaming rig or some sh1t like that.Unless you really think people would all of a sudden have no aspiration of grandeur and just work for free and give out food and stuff just because they are "nice" lol. I am too cynical for this stuff, would be total chaos, leave me with my coins (possibly not the Euro though, I don't like it).
 
I am going to try to explain myself better because you took it way out of context, yay text, to the first point:

"Yes those pixels mean a lot when time is invested, but it is STILL a game. "

I agree, that time invested makes it not just pixels. That is why I gave explanation for the usage.

To the second point, it is the basis of Star Trek. A fictional world. But I think the ideas behind it are great.

And the necessary evil you speak of doesn't have to encompass what we let it. Simple as that. 9.11 is an example of something I never saw before. Watching a city of EVERY kind of person genuinely LOVE one another. It was beautiful. There was Respect. And so my point here is that the necessary evil doesn't have to be us being mean to one another, it can be Aliens for all I give a shit. But let's actually find something to be legitimately mad at if we NEED it.
 
tr1age said:
And the necessary evil you speak of doesn't have to encompass what we let it. Simple as that. 9.11 is an example of something I never saw before. Watching a city of EVERY kind of person genuinely LOVE one another. It was beautiful. There was Respect. And so my point here is that the necessary evil doesn't have to be us being mean to one another, it can be Aliens for all I give a shit. But let's actually find something to be legitimately mad at if we NEED it.
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Yes, the usual "greater evil" always unites people, and really that is on a totally different scale. What I was saying is more related to the concept of, you can't have pleasure without pain, and physically/mentally speaking the difference between the two is VERY small (stupid example: biting the side of your mouth by accident hurts, however chewing it on purpose to some people feels reliefing/good, same with pinching etc. etc.).
And yes, there are things more imortant to get mad at, however, the importance that one puts on something is different than what an other might put.

Anyway, this discussion is going no where :) This is why the world is great, because people can have different opinions and intelligently discuss/debate about them, it's all a matter of education, I just wish my english would be better to express precisely what I think :)

<3
 
I just read something in George Takei´s book "Oh myyy!" that I want to cite here:
"Good grief. If we can´t laugh at ourselves, and at one another, in good spirit and without malice, then what fun can be left? If we must withhold all ribbing in the name of protectiong everyone´s feelings, then we truly are a thoothless society. We will reach what I call 'the lowest common denominator of butthurt'
But seriously. Have we as a society forgotten the important place of satire in our cultural dialogue? Have we grown so afraid of offending that we no longer dare pose the hard questions, or even the easy ones?"

Just for those who do not know George Takei, he is a gay rights activist and gay himself. And he posts stuff like this on his facebook page:
182946_712474998781956_440413276_n.jpg


Why am I putting this here? If we censor certain words, than other words would also need to be censored. And this would run on in a cycle. I agree that everybody personally should not use the words because the amount of how many time we use them turns them into something meaningless for people who know you well, but not for people who don´t know you. But everybody should have the right to decide whether they want to use it or not.
 
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